r/todayilearned
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u/Str33twise84
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Jun 23 '22
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TIL Darius McCollum, a New Yorker diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, has been arrested over 30 times for impersonating transit employees, stealing trains and buses, and driving their routes - complete with making safety announcements and passenger stops.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/nov/12/darius-mccollum-train-thief-dreams-new-york-transit7.4k
u/ShamanAmon
Jun 23 '22
edited Jun 23 '22
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The ultimate irony is he'll never get a job driving trains because of his criminal record for driving too many trains
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u/canehdian78 Jun 23 '22 •
Its entry-level but we want you to have experience
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u/WhiteLotusWarrior
Jun 23 '22
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You have to admit stealing a Bus and then driving the correct route is hilarious.
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u/DaggerMoth Jun 23 '22 •
Imagine the manager telling his shittiest employee, "I can replace you tomorrow with a guy that'll do your job for free as a hobby".
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u/Neuchacho Jun 23 '22
I imagine it wouldn't be entirely difficult even if it wasn't this guy. Just send random requests to people playing Public Transit Simulator on Steam.
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u/425Hamburger Jun 23 '22
Problem is Like 90% of those people already have a Job driving Busses
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u/TESTICLE_KEBABS Jun 23 '22
Best way to unwind after a day of driving is to drive virtually
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u/robdiqulous Jun 23 '22
Lol I wonder if they just smash into everything and take out all their road rage they can't do normally? Otherwise seriously why would you play this after driving a bus?...
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u/mr_chanderson Jun 23 '22
Yeah, I joked with one of my friend who is a pilot to build a PC and play flight simulator, and his reaction was "why tf would I play flight simulator? I fly for a living."
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u/gryphmaster Jun 23 '22
I had a friend who said the same about those group cooking games after he realized he was basically just head chef in a videogame
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u/Zahille7 Jun 23 '22
I bought Cooking Sim because I thought it'd be a cool way to try different things and seeing what the game was like in general.
Then I remembered that I work in a kitchen irl and regretted it. Maybe I'll come back to it some day though.
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u/casualsax Jun 23 '22
So relatable. I used to love management games until I worked full time as an accountant. Now I jump into them thinking "It'll be so cool to run a hospital!" Nope. Just work.
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u/Neuchacho Jun 23 '22
Fuck, you're right. We're going to have to tap the Sonic Racing demographic.
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u/oosuteraria-jin Jun 23 '22 •
It's the kind of thing you do in gta
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u/McMan777 Jun 23 '22
Well, in GTA if you obey the traffic rules the AI drivers just crash into you. Or honk when you're at a red light. Smh.
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u/TheBoctor Jun 23 '22
I’ve always felt GTA could also be aptly named the Virginia Traffic Simulator.
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u/Tailhook101 Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
Fuck Braddock Road in Fairfax
Edit: many of you share my hatred for the most cursed road system in the country. I hear you, and I feel your pain. Fuck driving in NoVa
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u/ALexusOhHaiNyan Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
One intersection along there is home to the worlds longest light. Down near the reservoir.
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u/Halvus_I Jun 23 '22
Midnight Club LA was where i would get my 'obey traffic laws' fix.
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u/originalusername__ Jun 23 '22 •
Like if there was a wholesome version of gta. “The a train is frequently not on time. Steal it and get these people to work on time so they don’t get fired!”
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u/Dave-4544 Jun 23 '22
Hol up bud, "Making the trains run on time" might not be as wholesome as you think..
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u/zyzzogeton Jun 23 '22
Don't leave me hanging! (Like Mussolini)
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u/mdp300 Jun 23 '22
Didn't he actually fail to make the trains run on time, but nobody was allowed to question it?
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u/AerThreepwood Jun 23 '22
Yeah, the fascists split up the fairly good nationalized rail system into three private companies and it was a massive clusterfuck.
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u/the_jak Jun 23 '22
Listen, we’ve all got busy lives outside of here so the gangbang has to stay on schedule.
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u/Tru-Queer Jun 23 '22
My cousin made a habit of taking cars and then obeying traffic and speed laws. He’d wait at the red lights and listen to the music. Not while in a mission though.
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u/JinFuu Jun 23 '22
I always enjoyed driving around listening to the NPR equivalent in Vice City
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u/Tru-Queer Jun 23 '22
Maurice Chavez with Pressing the Issues.
Think, Hold that thought, Complete. Or my new program, Motivate, Demonstrate, then Motivate Again. Or for more experienced members, try Look, Start Doing.
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u/innosins Jun 23 '22
My son did it on Simpson's Hit and Run. He had a thing for busses.
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u/soliwray Jun 23 '22 •
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u/Belazriel Jun 23 '22
You kept making all the stops?
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u/theanti_girl Jun 23 '22
THEY KEPT RINGIN THE BELL!
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Jun 23 '22 •
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u/CheshireC4t Jun 23 '22
Arrest this man, he's on the lamb, he can't away with it, give him a ban.
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u/GeiCobra Jun 23 '22
“We cant find anyone to work.” Well, maybe hire this fella, idk?
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u/PurpleFlame8 Jun 23 '22
As a pre pandemic public transit rider, I don't care who you are or where you come from, if you get me to my destination alive, unscathed, and on time, we're good.
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u/Laughtermedicine Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
Here's what I don't get, and this is actually not uncommon. There is a famous man who used to run the trains in New York he'd do the same thing. This is absolutely why we should hire people who have these sort of conditions. They should absolutely be seen as assets. Because they are. Sometimes people can memorize the entire time table for the entire system.
" Thank you for coming in to interview today! You're horrible making eye contact and you have really awkward social skills. However you've memorized the entire time table for the train system of New York in addition you know every single page of the employee handbook can recall every single detail from memory."
Seriously... Edit. It's Him I'm thinking of lol.
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u/SpaceJackRabbit Jun 23 '22
I'm on the spectrum and I can confirm a running joke in the autistic community is that many of us are fascinated by public transportation systems, trains in particular. Routines are important to many of us, and a well-functioning mass transit system is very comforting and satisfying.
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u/Horizon96 Jun 23 '22
I'm not but I go to my Uni's Japan society and there's a guy there that's clearly on the spectrum, nicest guy ever. But if you let him he will talk to you for 3 hours about the British trains and how they compare to other countries and how infrastructure could be improved, he just knows it all off the top of his head. Very knowledgeable guy and interesting to talk to, but you normally have to be prepared to receive a lecture from him lol.
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u/SpaceJackRabbit Jun 23 '22
Yeah we tend to be like that about our areas of interest. Took me decades to understand that neurotypical folks usually don't want to hear me dissert about the shit I'm obsessed and knowledgeable about.
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u/Horizon96 Jun 23 '22
I mean it can be interesting, it's just learning the cues of when and when not to speak about it which from an outside perspective seems to be the hard thing. Either way, on the spectrum or not, everyone has something they love to talk about and it's fair everyone gets the chance to sometimes.
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u/thebumblinfool Jun 23 '22
Not on the spectrum but have pretty severe ADHD (which is related in many ways from what I have heard) and I can confirm.
I absolutely love trains, public transit system, and utilities systems. I am especially fascinated with late 1800s and early 1900s steam engines as well as how the romans built such substantial water distribution systems.
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u/Otherwise_Resource51 Jun 23 '22
Machinist/nautical welder here. This shit is my jam! I love trains. The electrical grid.
Thinking about how we used to have a gas lightning infrastructure.
I'm especially fascinated by the history of the development of metalworking in all it's forms. And all engineering in general.
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u/Frumpy_little_noodle Jun 23 '22
If you don't mind, we're just going to shove you into a little box and let you do your thing while keeping you out of sight of the general public. I'm guessing this is the ideal scenario for both of us.
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u/Bonny-Mcmurray Jun 23 '22
Jerry: "You kept making all the stops?"
Kramer: "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
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u/ZLBuddha Jun 23 '22
definition of chaotic good lmao, I feel like the solution here is to just hire him as a transit operator if he's literally already doing it
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u/rohmish Jun 23 '22
This guy probably provides better service than most drivers working for the authority out there.
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u/TheFocusedOne Jun 23 '22
He wasn't 'stealing' anything. He was driving the routes on purpose because he is fucking destined to do it. The transit authority should just give him employment for fuck sake.
Not everyone skips all of school to ride and drive trains.
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u/Zen_Diesel
Jun 23 '22
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So I’m guessing they figured it out after he started running the route on schedule.
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u/blaze99960 Jun 23 '22 •
They knew it wasn't the real conductor
How did they know?
Too many people arriving on time. Close to 80%. Nobody from the MTA has ever cracked the 50% barrier. It's like the 3-minute mile!
I tried my best
Exactly. You're a disgrace to the uniform
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u/nater255 Jun 23 '22
Newman is a comedic gold mine.
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u/TheGoodOldCoder Jun 23 '22
The reason that scene immediately stuck in my head when I first saw it was that, just before that scene, they showed Jerry delivering the mail, and he was doing just about as badly as can be imagined. Just smiling and walking and throwing mail around seemingly randomly.
And so you think to yourself, sheesh, he's going to get Newman into trouble.
And then, Newman confronts him in the famous scene, and apparently Jerry's piss-poor job was way too good.
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u/nater255 Jun 23 '22
The smile and jaunty walk is so ANTI Seinfeld (the man) that it feels like you've been slapped. Jerry is never that happy, carefree and lighthearted. It's so weird.
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u/mill3rtime_ Jun 23 '22
He's doing it so that Newman moves to Hawaii. That's why he's jolly about it
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u/nater255 Jun 23 '22
Absolutely, it's just so striking to see him that happy about ANYTHING.
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u/mrdeadsniper Jun 23 '22
He also says "I get to be the mailman!" before it. Its kind of a childhood idea of what adults do. He always had a sometimes childish attitude towards some things and I think this was meant to be embracing the childlike wonder of "being the mailman". In addition to sending his nemesis away.
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u/xredbaron62x Jun 23 '22
I worked for the Post Office for a few years. Newman is the most realistic portrayal of a mail carrier
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u/Chaiteoir Jun 23 '22
"I called in sick! I don't work in the rain."
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u/DelusionalTim Jun 23 '22
The OP made me think of Kramer driving the bus to save his girlfriends pinky toe.
“You kept making all the stops?”
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u/jman377355 Jun 23 '22
Too many people arriving on time. Close to 80%. Nobody from the MTA has ever cracked the 50% barrier. It's like the 3-minute mile!
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u/4skinphenom69 Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
Right, don’t arrest this guy, he’s just showing his skills before getting hired, give him a job. Interviewer: “so what would you say are you best skills? Darius: “well The bus I’ve been driving hasn’t been late once so far”. Interviewer: “well that’s great Dar….what do you mean been driving?”
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u/wafflehousewhore Jun 23 '22
Reminds me of the episode of Futurama where Fry gets sentenced to a robot insane asylum. There's the robot who's convinced he's a lunch room worker, so they gave him a job in the lunch room.
"How is work in the lunch room, Frankie?"
"It's alright"
"Poor Frankie..."
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u/afriendlywerewolf Jun 23 '22
Sadly at least one of the times he was caught was because he stopped an impending disaster.
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u/chiagod Jun 23 '22
I thought you were kidding. This?
Another time he responded to an emergency stop call on the subway at 57th street in Manhattan; clearing passengers safely and correctly and diagnosing the problem, in full uniform, before being caught by the train driver, who had seen his face on a wanted poster.
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u/FlingFlamBlam Jun 23 '22
"There's the guy! The one that keeps doing the job correctly! Call the cops."
The Onion really really can't keep up with reality.
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u/olahanul Jun 23 '22
Right? Just hire him lol
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u/caboosetp Jun 23 '22
He has applied and been refused real transit authority work several times – he told the Journal that he believed his 1981 arrest got him “blackballed”.
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u/Nowarclasswar Jun 23 '22
They probably unofficially (because doing it officially would be illegal) disqualified him because of his condition
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u/carnsolus Jun 23 '22
let's disqualify tall people from playing basketball while we're at it
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u/PartialToDairyThings Jun 23 '22
YA KEPT MAKING THE STOPS?
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u/SkullOfAchilles Jun 23 '22
PEOPLE KEPT RINGING THE BELL!!
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u/702deuce Jun 23 '22
You're Batman!
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u/Trundle-theGr8 Jun 23 '22
I fucking love how this line is delivered. George is 100% convinced.
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u/planet_robot Jun 23 '22
Ya! Ya I am Batman!
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u/Imfrank123 Jun 23 '22
That and the marine biologist are my two favorite monologues
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u/Victor_Korchnoi Jun 23 '22
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli
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u/CrunchitizeMeCaptn Jun 23 '22
See I was thinking of the episode where Jerry takes the postal route and Newman gets in trouble, because people were getting their mail all time
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Jun 23 '22
People began to suspect something was amiss when the driver was not surly or unpleasant. His hygiene, good attitude and pride in the work gave him away.
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u/Str33twise84
Jun 23 '22
edited Jun 23 '22
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I tried to use this article as my source but it was rejected, I think it’s a better read:
https://nypost.com/2016/11/17/meet-new-yorks-beloved-mass-transit-bandit/
In 2018, he was committed to a lock-down psychiatric facility.
The most recent update I could find (October, 2020) places him in the Rochester Forensic Psychiatric Hospital.
Source: https://www.freedariusnow.com/october-2020-update
Off the Rails (2016) - documentary made about him:
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u/SigmaGrooveJamSet Jun 23 '22
That sucks that they put him in a psychiatric hospital. Track 3 doesn't make any sense unless he continues the behavior after hurting somebody.
I have a cousin with Autism Spectrum Disorder and I can see how mono-obsessions and concrete thinking lead to the assumption that since he can do the job he is qualified to do it and thinks the rules that prevent him from driving subways are dumb and not worth following.
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u/potatolulz
Jun 23 '22
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They should give him the job. I mean he loves doing it for free and even go to jail over it :D
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u/AirDusst Jun 23 '22
Darius has been banned from any type of employment with the New York City transit system due to his criminal record.
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u/nuggutron Jun 23 '22 •
His only crime is loving Transit too much.
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u/onehundredbuttholes Jun 23 '22 •
If Darius is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
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u/slugo17 Jun 23 '22
Also stealing trains and buses. But mostly loving transit too much.
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u/gregaustex Jun 23 '22
Is it really "stealing" if you just go run the route? I like comandeering.
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u/ambigious_meh Jun 23 '22
More like borrowed, borrowed without permission you might say, savvy?
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u/LazerGuidedMelody Jun 23 '22
Also, how exactly do you “steal” a train, like that shits on a track. There are only so many places it could go lol.
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u/VAGINA_EMPEROR Jun 23 '22
Right, you don't steal a train, it's just an unauthorized relocation.
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u/LazerGuidedMelody Jun 23 '22 •
“Where is the train?! Wasn’t it parked here?! Where could he have taken it?!?”
looks left, looks right
“Probably one of those two directions boss”
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u/Scared-Ingenuity9082 Jun 23 '22
According to an I-Team report in May, two psychiatrists with the State Office of Mental Health recently examined McCollum and agreed he is not dangerously mentally ill or mentally ill under the law. The doctors recommended he be released into the community with supervision and services.
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u/Katie-WPG Jun 23 '22
It’s a really sad story all around. The main reason why he does this is because operating these vehicles gives him a sense of purpose.
He went truant in 2nd grade due to being stabbed with scissors by another child in his class, and started hanging out by the tracks. The employee’s befriended him, and started showing him how to operate the trains. Even had him fill in for them from time to time. When he was caught the first time, no one stopped to wonder why this kid ended up there. They just assumed he had criminal intent, and barred him from getting a job there.
If he wasn’t doing this, what could he tangibly do? He has no formal education, no other notable skills other than acting as a railway conductor/bus driver…he’d basically be stuck in a group home somewhere, rotting.
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Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22 •
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Opinionsadvice Jun 23 '22
The weirdest part of the article is that they didn't explain why he never applied for the job when he was a teenager. He went from learning to stealing busses and never applied for a job in between? Why not?
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u/Trueloveis4u Jun 23 '22
Because the MTA workers basically told him he was one of theirs and let him drive when they called off? I swear the dude thought he had a job.
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u/jenovakitty Jun 23 '22
exactly!!!! once they gave him A WHOLE UNIFORM, he was one of them for all intents and porpoises.
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u/Trueloveis4u Jun 23 '22
Yup they let him have their call off shifts and uniforms they only turned him in because they wanted to save their own butts.
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u/Leeiteee Jun 23 '22
Could he try a different city?
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u/Angdrambor Jun 23 '22
The US doesn't have many cities with a complex enough transit system. LA would do it, and maybe DC.
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u/NativeMasshole Jun 23 '22
They're pushing to hire just over the border in Mass. Gov Baker has left the MBTA in shambles and now we're stuck trying to fix it.
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u/JalapenoJamm Jun 23 '22
Imagine a functioning T throughout all of Massachusetts.
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u/Chrisazy Jun 23 '22 •
Mastatchutsetts? No thanks i think it has plenty of Ts already
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u/i_am_voldemort Jun 23 '22
Chicago/CTA, Boston, DC/WMATA, Atlanta/MARTA
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u/FuckinJabroni Jun 23 '22
Going from NYC to MARTA would kill this man's love of transit.
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u/nonsensical_zombie Jun 23 '22
did this man just compare MARTA to any functioning public transport system
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u/Firstpcbuild1515 Jun 23 '22
Not only that but he is now in a mental facility after a judge went against recommendation, and diagnosed him as the highest most dangerous mental risk, then put him in a mental prison with other people who had committed horrible crimes and diagnosed at that highest level. This man does not deserve this.
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u/PurpleFlame8 Jun 23 '22
MTA: So why do you want to work for the MTA?
Darius: I like transit, I'm good at it, and I'm helpful and friendly!
MTA: Oh, we can't have that!
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u/oced2001 Jun 23 '22
When I was a freshmen in high school in the mid 80s, I was in the school bus waiting for the driver. The bus would go from the high school to an elementary school and unload to students get on another bus to go home.
Anyway, the driver was very late, so another student said, fuck it, and drove the bus to the other school. Then he got off and on his bus to go home.
He got expelled
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u/datpiffss Jun 23 '22
I believe he also helped in the aftermath of 9/11 since he knew the tunnels so well. Dude legit just liked helping people and after he helped them… guess where he was right after? In his jail cell.
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u/work_me Jun 23 '22
Yeah and after using his knowledge they put him in solitary confinement because they said his knowledge could be accessed by enemies of the state.
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u/HereComesTheVroom Jun 23 '22 edited Jun 23 '22
This is from the website set up about him:
One winter day, when Darius was 12 years old, there was a heavy snowfall. School was not cancelled, but only one other student made it to class. The teacher gave Darius and the other boy each a puzzle to complete and she left the classroom. While Darius was hunched over his puzzle deep into his assignment, the other student went to the teacher's desk and removed a pair of scissors. He snuck up behind Darius and plunged the scissors into Darius' back, repeatedly opening and closing the scissors. Darius was bleeding on the floor of the classroom when the teacher returned. Due to the snow, the ambulance was delayed. Darius lay in a pool of blood, unconscious.
But he's the dangerous one?
EDIT: It looks like that incident is what sparked his interest in trains. He would sneak off to the railyard instead of going to school because he was scared and ended up making friends with the workers there.
EDIT 2: Dear god this guy has just been continually fucked by everyone.
In one of his many efforts to find employment, Darius volunteered at the New York City Transit Museum, a job he loved. But he was fired when his boss ultimately realized his identity.
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u/RadicalPirate Jun 23 '22
This poor dude. Mental health services need a total overhaul in this country. This guy just needs guidance and someone to help him navigate living in this world. Not jail time or to be thrown in a facility and never allowed to leave.
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u/AFutureForTheForest Jun 23 '22
Not uncommon for people on the Spectrum to be ostracized and/or attacked by their peers, or making friends with people 10+ years your senior.
And now he's a "criminal".
Failed by his community and society over and over again. Tragic.
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Jun 23 '22
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u/internet_thugg Jun 23 '22
The last update had him committed to a psychiatric hospital in Rochester :/
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u/rivers61 Jun 23 '22
I want to imagine there are at least a few people out there who recognize him and get mildly excited when they see him driving the bus they're getting on.
Be like "Hi Darius you got the bus today huh?"
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u/rasputin777 Jun 23 '22
Just hire the man already! He will be the most devoted employee on staff!
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u/hellocaptin Jun 23 '22
I don’t see how somebody hasn’t seen the benefit of having such a dedicated employee and find a job for him to do, that was my first thought. If I was doing anything in transit I’d hire him
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u/SeattleBelle Jun 23 '22
This popped up on my feed right below this story. Seems like an interesting watch.
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u/Flux_Aeternal Jun 23 '22
Reading his background story makes me sad, how can people be so cruel? I fail to see what exactly society gains by locking this man up repeatedly.
Also:
Once, he stole a bus at Penn Station and drove it, full of passengers, to New York’s Kennedy airport. Another time he responded to an emergency stop call on the subway at 57th street in Manhattan; clearing passengers safely and correctly and diagnosing the problem, in full uniform, before being caught by the train driver, who had seen his face on a wanted poster.
It's hilarious that he isn't just some crazy person stealing a train he's weirdly extremely competent. Sounds like if he was an actual employee he'd be a straight up asset.
Would probably be easier for them to just hire him and pay someone to directly supervise him at all times.
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u/green49285 Jun 23 '22
What? An unconventional yet effective way to solve this problem??? NO GODDAMN WAY, SIR!
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u/SkyeWint Jun 23 '22
Not weird at all. Autistic people often become specialists in their particular focused interests. It certainly doesn't universally prevent us from driving, and we often do follow rules very strictly in ways that would make a job like regular public transport very well-suited to us!
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u/capitaine_d Jun 23 '22
Honestly. Im prone to horrible indecisiveness in my everyday life (but have gotten much better about it) but like hell am i like that when I drive.
Ive been put in control of a 1 ton machine of metal and plastics that can easily kill not only me but alot of people if i mess up. I take that shit seriously and am honestly always pissed at everyone because of how loosy-goosy they are with it. It doesnt hinder my enjoyment of the freedom of just being able to drive around but when people cant bother to follow simple rules its brings out the worst in me cuz i honestly cant undedstand why people want to endanger everyone. Thank god im not a delivery driver anymore cuz people in my area are idiots and the pandemic keeping people from keeping up with proper driving habits has made it so much worse.
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u/Promethia Jun 23 '22
This is what a totally backwards mental health strategy does. This is sad af.
This guy could have been working for the transit authority his whole life. Imagine he got in when he started covering people's shifts at what, 18? Buddy could have like seniority and almost probably at the point where he could retire, which he probably wouldn't cause sounds like the dude just wants to be a bus driver. Guy would be making good money though.
BTW. Those drivers who were teaching him how to operate the trains and actually being able to call him to cover their shifts. Those guys not showing up were probably still getting paid, cause they couldn't tell them who was actually driving.
I hate that this dude has to suffer being criminalized when all he needed was a chance. Guy's probably a better operator than 80% of the actual ones.
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u/MrChip53 Jun 23 '22
All the people saying "it's a danger" need to think about that, other drivers were letting this "rando" cover their shifts. Either they should have been punished or they trained him well enough to know he wasn't a danger.
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u/TooFakeToFunction Jun 23 '22
Where is the evidence that he is a danger? I'm clearly missing something and need one of this assholes to explain it to me slow. Who has gotten hurt? Who has had a life ruined? The answer to this so far only seems to be Darius and the culprit is the state.
Man has a clean record of operation. Fucking insane.
I'm honestly enraged. I wish I could have him released myself and shame every single person relentlessly who has ever put him away instead of diverting him to a training program. He could have had a life and they just fucking took it from him.
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u/macetfromage Jun 23 '22
wtf
For nearly two decades Darius had attended NYCTA workers’ rallies and
union meetings. At the meetings he had argued for, among other things,
better lighting in tunnels and the right to wear earplugs against
ambient noise.
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u/10before15 Jun 23 '22
Fukn hell, give the guy a job already. He will be the most dedicated and knowledgeable employee the city ever had in subways.
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u/tossing-hammers Jun 23 '22
Uh….30 arrests? this really the best they can do for him? An autistic man spending 1/3 of his life in jail because of his special interest?
I get it, it’s dangerous and he can’t be allowed to do that but it’s not like his robbing trains and crashing busses.
It’s probably against the law since his a “criminal” but surely there’s a supervised part-time position he could fill for them or some other way to handle this rather than sending him to jail.
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u/vash989 Jun 23 '22
All I could think about reading this headline was that Futurama episode.
...and over there's Frankie. He thinks he's a cafeteria worker, so they put him to work in the cafeteria.