r/self Oct 27 '22

Self is now limiting submissions to two per account in a rolling 24 hour period.


Hello all,

There seems to be a higher than normal number of users taking advantage of our previous unlimited submission policy, and for the most part spamming the queue with multiple submissions every day. Some of these are utter nonsense and do not really add much to this community. As a result we are now limiting the total number of submissions per user to 2 submissions during a 24 hour period. This includes deleted posts, so you cannot circumvent the limit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment in this thread.

r/self 11h ago Platinum

My friend was found dead in her apartment yesterday.


I messaged her on Facebook to invite her to a friend’s birthday party next week, and the woman who found her had her phone and messaged me. Sarah had been dead for a few days. Likely suicide, although no autopsy has been done yet.

My boyfriend and I helped her move into that apartment only a month ago.

My boyfriend is at a beer pong tournament with his brother, and I’m alone tonight. I got the message while we were waiting for our dinner to arrive at the restaurant, and I had him ask the waiter to bring my food in a takeout container. I drove home, and it snowed the whole way.

I was supposed to be there to help her unpack and organize her new place over the last month, but I was on stress leave and I was overwhelmed and didn’t reach out. I should have. I really should have. I was selfish, and I’ll always regret that.

I’m at home watching Tremors now. It’s one of my comfort movies.

She was brilliant, kind, compassionate, and genuine. She was always open and brave and real.

And now she’s gone.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry, Sarah.

I’m glad you’re at peace now. Give Meela all the pets for me. She was a good dog, and I’m so glad you’re with her again.

Edit: Thank you to everyone reaching out. I don’t think I’m going to really reply anymore, but I’m reading every comment.

Sarah was a good person. She struggled with drug addiction, depression, anxiety, and had been raped and had gone through horrendous relationships. She was banned from a bar for punching her abusive ex in the face, and texted me a photo once of his stuff piled in a snow bank when she kicked him out. She was into kink, painting, and was a professor. She was extremely sex-positive, and one of the people I never felt judged with. One of the last times I saw her, I was driving her to pick up her playmate Dom at his parents’ place and dropped them off at hers so they could have fun. One of the funniest memories of my life.

Please check on your friends today.

Please love them.

It’s a hard world, and the hardest thing in this world is to live in it, and sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes it’s more than we can handle.

Sarah was loved. Sarah was kind. Sarah was good. And she’s gone now, and that’s not okay and I miss her and I want her back.

But she’s at peace. And that’s okay. She’s not hurting anymore. She’s with her dog Meela again, who she loved so very much. She’s not in a tiny apartment she can barely afford anymore. She’s not where her exes can hurt her.

She’s safe. She’s at peace. And I hope that’s enough. I’m not religious, but….

There’s somewhere out there, where she’s okay and she’s happy again.

There’s gotta be.

Edit: I just remembered another funny moment, and I wanted to share it. While my boyfriend and I were helping her move, she asked me if it would be okay if she jokingly told him he was 'the best boyfriend she ever had'. (We talked a lot about how my boyfriend was the best person I'd ever been with, and definitely knocked any of her exes out of the water as well.) I told her it was, and he laughed so hard and hugged her. That was one of the last times I saw her.

Edit: Thank you to whoever gave this an award, but before anyone else does, please donate to something like CAMH instead. Mental health awareness is important

r/self 16h ago

I deleted me and my ex’s old text messages


Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but those conversations late at night were special to me. We remained friends and texted after she left, but she hasn’t texted me in 2 months. She doesn’t give a shit about me. The pictures are next.

r/self 8h ago

She is not “just a hamster” to me.


My hamster of 2 years and 1 month is aging, and based on her vet visit today, likely has cancer. At this point trying to fix anything would be cruel, so I’m focused on keeping her comfortable and spoiling her for as long as I have left with her.

You probably read “hamster” and thought, they don’t live long anyway, what’s the big deal? But she is more than “just a hamster” to me.

I got her at a time where I was struggling in university, slowly dropping out of the teaching program. She gave me cuddles and sat on my chest as I panicked or cried. Sometimes nibbling my hand gently and brought me back to reality. She gave me a reason to work hard, get a job, earn to afford a big home for her, and all the food, treats, and enrichment she could ever need.

She is someone that I love and hold dear, she helped me through my grandfather’s death in December, and now I have to deal with the anticipatory grief knowing one day (likely soon) I will find her gone from this world, or will have to make the decision to end her suffering.

Yes, she is a hamster and I knew going in to this that she would only have a short time with me. That doesn’t make it any easier.

She has been my best friend, I love her so much, I just want her to feel comfortable and loved as she lives out her final months, weeks, or days.

She is not just a hamster, she is my hamster.

r/self 13h ago

I'm giving up


I'm done being in the closet. I am gay, and I have always been. I am sexually attracted to other men. I've been denying and terrified of it it for for 30 years. I can't hold it in anymore, I need a man to dominate me, love me, and and make me feel feminine. That's why I'm telling everyone I know as soon as possible.

r/self 9h ago

Just got called a misogynist fatphobic for saying men require more calories to stay alive


Never thought we as a society would get to the point of reversing on what we've known for centuries from a scientific standpoint and go with feelings instead.

Damn I really dont know what to think, really thought it was universal common sense..

Edit: man some of these votes are hilarious 😂 oh reddit.. never change

r/self 20h ago

I'm being way too careless about spending money


I come from a middle class family in India who's currently living in a hostel for my med school. My father sends me around Rs 3000 monthly for my expenses excluding hostel fees. Yesterday I checked my transactions on the Google pay app which I use on daily basis since its very convenient and easy to use. I realized that I'm getting way too careless about spending money to the point that I was left with only Rs 300 for ten days of March. From today onwards I'm going to try my best to save as much money as possible but I also want to ask if there is any way that will help me from making so many transactions on the app?

r/self 13h ago

Had a date today with someone I’ve crushed on for years!


So today I went for coffee with this girl let’s call her D. I’ve been into D for the last 3 maybe 4 years. We have mutual friends, we’ve matched on dating apps but the last time we spoke she wasn’t in the right space to date. We recently all went out her, our friends and I. I thought there was chemistry still. We went out again because of something I organised. Again we were chatting. I asked her for coffee. We went today I think it went really well. I paid she said she would get the next one. We kissed in my car for like an hour. We walked around after that and chatted then we said goodbye and I kissed her again. Messaged her to tell her I got home and that we should hang out again!

I’m not sure if I’ll get a second date but I hope I do! I really like this girl but worst case I had fun :) I’m really feeling happy!

r/self 5h ago

I’m turning 30 next month and I feel old / life going by too fast


Exactly what the title entails…turning 30 next month and my GF really wants us to try having a kid…I’m a bit scared about that and can’t even think about becoming a father.

Everyday is honestly the same and I need some sort of change in my life, and maybe a child can help? I have a great job, and GF, so hopefully this is the right choice..

r/self 18h ago

My gf broke up with me yesterday


I feel so sad. It can’t be happening. Not after a year and a half. She adopted a cat which I loved, but it was her cat. I really miss this cat.

I love her. She said she loves me more as a brother and that she didn’t feel that we had chemistry like before… I feel devastated and I can’t function. I wish it would stop and that things would go back the way they were

I need emotional support right now…

Feel free to dm me

r/self 17m ago

I accidentally confessed to my best friend a few hours ago and I'm panicking lol


We met in college and hit it off instantly. A year later we've always been together and been there for each other through the ups and downs. Our communication often feels like it's fading because of our careers but we always bounce back like there's no distance between us. There's always been some intimate tension between us and we've made out once and came close to an accidentally second when she got too close to my face once lol but the comfort in the scenarios are so high when they happen everything is so fluid.

I was at my best buds wedding a few days ago in Dominican Republic and I got a bit buzzed and typed up a draft in her convo but I didn't send it because I knew she was talking to other guys and I was talking to other girls but we always find ourselves coming back to each other. I was reading my draft and fixing some errors and out of habit of proofreading and I sent it when it was okay purely impulsively.

I'm terrified because she often gets panic attacks when she gets overwhelmed by her emotions especially when it catches her off guard. But tbh I'm a bit relieved to finally get it off my chest. The weight of my feelings for her was getting heavier everyday and I was just holding on to it to preserve our bond and not complicat things also out of respect. But I realize she means that much to me and if I truly did respect her then I should tell her the truth.

Im just afraid of coming off selfish because I don't think I'm good enough for her at all, even though she depends on me sometimes. I just know that I personally have a lot of things to work on for myself ESPECIALLY mentally and emotionally. I'm aware that I'm broken and damage, so I'm working on repairing myself and yet she doesn't care about what stage I am in my life, she still always ready to jump in and stand by my side cause she knows I'll always be there for her as well.

All this to say that's is why I sent the message but I'm just not sure where she's currently at in her life, or whether or not she has room to take that chance with me on going further. Truthfully I don't think I'm ready either but I know I can be for her. She's only ever put my life at ease and call me out of my slack during my self improvement journey and the way we're so in tune with each other almost seems too much of a coincidence to ignore and remain silent.

r/self 24m ago

The very same person who tells me to be myself cringes when I am myself...


My brother tends to tell me to just be myself and not care what others think, I think too much bla bla bla...

The moment I stop thinking too much, he cringes, or someone else cringes.

I NEED to think about what other people think of me in order to stay relatively normal and be treated like a person.

r/self 43m ago

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r/self 47m ago

A random thing that I wish I could do but feel I can't because of my gender (even though thinking rationally, I probably could anyway)


For context, I am from the UK, male, gay, and in my 20s.

One of the things I often wish I could do is throw around casual terms of endearment/affection/recognition of beauty more, but feel I can't because of being male.

To be clear this isn't something I spend time agonising about or something, it's more like a random thought that comes up now and again.

I've been living in Spain for a while and I noticed I felt this way when I had put the TV on to see what Spanish TV was like. There was an interaction between the male host of a game show and one of the female participants and she said to him "gracias, lindo" at the end of the interaction. And I did think that he was beautiful, and I felt that I wish I could talk to people like that, with that example I felt if I had met him I wish that I too could casually say "beautiful" like that, without it being about flirtation or coming onto him, and without the fear of it being misunderstood that way. But I feel that societally, women can do this but men can't.

A friend of mine, when I told her, said "yeah but I think you're feminine enough that you could get away with it".

To be fair, I have also known a gay guy who used to always call everyone terms like this, whether his friends were girls, straight guys, whoever, and I don't recall anyone giving him flack for it.

In the UK most of my friends are women, so, with them there is a lot of this between us, mostly things like "my love" and whatnot, sometimes we say it in a put-on accent though.

I don't know why I wish I could speak more this way, and it's probably me putting that limit there more than anything.

I guess I just worry about safety (in the case of men) and intent being misunderstood (with both men and women, although, people are good at reading intent and, in the case of women they pretty quickly understand I'm gay anyway so idk)

r/self 5h ago

overthinking is killing me


I can't stop obsessing and worrying over things I have no control over. It gives me so much anxiety, pain and restlessness. I'm okay for an hour or two, and it all falls apart at the slightest triggers. I am scared for myself, scared of being this way. I just feel like I shouldn't exist. I've been going to therapy but it's not helping much. My hormones are all messed up too. I just can't live like this.

r/self 5h ago

Dealing with changing friend groups and loneliness


Not sure where else to put this, but I feel the need to get it out there. I've been dealing with quite a lot of loneliness recently and I'm not sure what to do about it. I recently lost a pet I’ve had since I was 4, and I've been single for 3 years now and am about to enter my sophomore year of college. My friends I came to college with have developed some pretty bad habits regarding studying and partying and actually trying in their classes so we've grown quite distant, and I only have one or two good friends left. Dating apps have been all but useless despite my best efforts. Oh well. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I think I just want to feel a connection with someone new again.

r/self 1h ago

Is it normal to be a little suicidal when you drink?


Real question this happens most of the time, but I know alcohol impairs your judgement so I’m just wondering

r/self 1d ago All-Seeing Upvote

I got high last night and ordered a slide whistle


Should be here Sunday, I’m pretty excited

r/self 2h ago

I wish I wasn't nearsighted


I don't know exactly how bad my eyesight is but I have ortho k lenses I wear at night, so I don't have to wear glasses during my day to day unless I forget to wear it at night.

Both of my parents are nearsighted. WHile my dad's eyesight is worse, my mom's side has a history of bad eyes. All her siblings have bad eyes, with one of them so bad, that she is legally considered disabled and not allowed to drive a car anymore.

2 of my siblings are nearsighted, and my youngest sibling, my brother, I think it won't be long before he would get worse too. I have the worst eyesight out of my siblings, given that's probably because I'm the oldest. I try to take a ot of care for my eyesight, unlike my sisters who are extremely reckless about it, but I still have the worst eyesight. I'm not as bad as my parents yet, but who knows. My dad quite literally can't see shit when he takes off his glasses, my mom a little bit. For me, I can still make out your face, but thats about it. Like, its so bad that if Im just sitting in front of my computer, yeah, I cant see clearly.

Y'know how a lot of guys say "bros before hoes" or "would you give up this to get a gf?" or shit like that, and sometimes they say yes. Well for me, I dont care about a girl, but if you offer me to cure my nearsightedness, I would probably give up a lot,, my college admissions, my calishtenics progress, my grades, a lot just to be able to see clearly.

I just want to be able to see clearly like so many of my friends can do without glasses. Worst of all, I'm even scared I might go blind one day. I take a lot of things for granted, but every once in a while, it hits me how inconvenient it is for me to be nearsighted.

r/self 6h ago

Asked my crush out


I (38M) asked my crush(30F) out a few weeks ago. She still hasn't got back to me but she did agree to go get a drink with me. She's either a horrible texter or not interested and just lied to me to my face, in which case, im not interested anymore. She definitely flirted with me a few times, which is why I decided to ask.

Im just glad I asked, even if it doesn't happen with her. Never hurts to ask and you will probably feel better if you just go ahead and ask that person out you a crushing on.

Good luck everyone! Cheers!

r/self 3h ago

Spring cleaning


I ate too much cheese for breakfast and it stalled my day, but, I still somehow cleaned for a few hours today! Very pleased. Haven't cleaned very much lately and doing this feels good. For the most part, it's consisted of me going through papers with personal information and wiping it out with magic marker and then tearing it up. Very time consuming. I've only stopped because I've lost my magic marker.

Tomorrow I'll do more. Really should destroy this stuff sooner, found papers from 2019. Well, at least it's getting done.

r/self 3h ago

Since the beginning of lent, I lost atleast 5-6lbs


Since the initial lockdown in 2020, I gained a bunch of weight and now I went from Average BMI to now Obese. It was crushing for my self esteem since in highschool I was very active and exercised a lot. Once lockdown and college started and being clinically depressed I slipped and ate a lot and did nothing. Though Last summer I started skating (again) for a little bit and went from 150 to 142 in like a month. But then I sprained my ankle and couldn’t skate for the rest of summer into the beginning of the fall semester. Then I ended up going up to 156 in Jan 2023

I’m not really religious but it’s like tradition to give up something for Lent so I gave up Fast food and Soda. A couple days ago I decided to weigh myself for shits and giggles expecting me to gain even more weight but to my surprise im now down to about 149! Im skating again now when I have the time. Just wanted to tell the void about my progress. I now have motivation to get my life back together!

r/self 4h ago

my crushes all interacted with me today and that just makes me happy


one of my crushes at work always holds/squeezes my arms/shoulders whenever he clocks in using my pc and today he used my station again. i was working taking calls and someone squeezed both my arms/shoulders and i got startled then i thought maybe it's my work mom then look up to see his face 😳 like bitch whaaat my crush? holding me? again? 😳 and he's so big and tall and it just makes me feel so safe especially when he started typing on my keyboard to clock in because my head is in between his arms and it's like he's cuddling me almost ahhdjfjwksks

he clocks in using my pc every time i station near his area and it makes me so happy. he pat my head today after clocking in like 😳 aaaaaah i feel like a little girl having a crush lmao i love how sweet his voice is when he's talking to me 😳 please tell me he likes me please tell me he likes me please tell me he likes me

and i also had little interactions with my other crushes at work haha my heart is happy i love this day