r/nottheonion • u/Tara_is_a_Potato • 6h ago

WHO warns people not to attack monkeys amid monkeypox outbreak

nbcnews.com

1.3k Upvotes

90 comments

r/nottheonion • u/t24x-94 • 19h ago

Elon Musk fan wants to prove Tesla won't run over children by trying to run over child

newshub.co.nz

21.9k Upvotes

944 comments

r/nottheonion • u/geoxol • 14h ago

Wyoming candidate undeterred after teen pregnancy disclosure

apnews.com

1.7k Upvotes

175 comments

r/nottheonion • u/-milk-steak • 2h ago

Mark Ruffalo Defends Marvel Output: ‘You Get the Same Version’ of ‘Star Wars’ Every Time, But Not the MCU

variety.com

41 Upvotes

16 comments

r/nottheonion • u/carolinaindian02 • 12h ago

Lebanon man hailed hero for holding Beirut bank hostage over savings

bbc.com

221 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/tyrannosauru • 3h ago

City tells New Yorkers: don’t panic about ‘splooting’ squirrels

theguardian.com

34 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/any-mystic • 9h ago

Gun in 'Rust' shooting could not have been fired without pulling trigger: FBI report

abcnews.go.com

79 Upvotes

48 comments

r/nottheonion • u/rainbowarriorhere • 1d ago

Liz Truss defends energy firms saying profit is not evil

bbc.co.uk

1.3k Upvotes

233 comments

r/nottheonion • u/tg-qhd • 19h ago

One person dead after shooting at funeral for Toronto shooting victim

toronto.ctvnews.ca

248 Upvotes

23 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mantis_toboggan9 • 7h ago

Dozens injured in Legoland roller coaster crash in Germany

cnn.com

27 Upvotes

15 comments

r/nottheonion • u/freenrich • 6h ago

CEO posts crying selfie to LinkedIn after laying off employees

globalnews.ca

17 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/NoSalmonSaidit4Times • 1d ago

Oregon wants to stop using school funds to clean up neglected boats

opb.org

1.3k Upvotes

41 comments

r/nottheonion • u/raulbas98 • 19h ago

CEO Mark Zuckerberg is 'creepy and manipulative,' says Meta's new AI Chatbot

interestingengineering.com

180 Upvotes

20 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sandtiger812 • 1h ago

Car thief hides in giant teddy bear, sentenced to jail

14news.com

• Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/calbert1735 • 14h ago

Maryland appeals court OKs judge calling cut dreadlocks ‘destruction of evidence’

wtop.com

54 Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/lStrakle • 12h ago

Asthma carbon footprint 'as big as eating meat'

bbc.com

29 Upvotes

41 comments

r/nottheonion • u/maximumfunpriv • 5h ago

Wedding music blamed for death of 63 chickens in India

dawn.com

8 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mealpolitik • 1d ago

John Bolton 'Embarrassed at the Low Price' for His Assassination

newsweek.com

22.1k Upvotes

803 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheAngryBlackGuy • 1d ago

Las Vegas landlord requires tenant on Section 8 to sign sex contract in order to lease home

ktnv.com

1.2k Upvotes

162 comments

r/nottheonion • u/KinTheScat • 15h ago

Liz Truss accuses Civil Service of antisemitism, then repeats stereotypes about Jews

theguardian.com

38 Upvotes

😲

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Beau_Buffett • 11m ago

Activision uses Diablo IV to argue against unions

canadatoday.news

• Upvotes

1 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Tevo94 • 20h ago

Ukrainian refugee in Leeds 'seriously considering returning home' as she can't get a dentist appointment

leeds-live.co.uk

75 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wtcode • 1d ago

IRS faces online uproar over special agent job posting requiring ability to use deadly force 'if necessary'

foxbusiness.com

28.3k Upvotes

2.1k comments

r/nottheonion • u/BardicWoad • 17h ago

World Excel Championships take live sports coverage by storm

itv.com

30 Upvotes

6 comments

Posts

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
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