r/interestingasfuck Aug 13 '22 Wholesome 1 Silver 4 Helpful 6 Take My Energy 1 Mind Blown 1 I'll Drink to That 1 Gold 1

This pen is secretly a gun /r/ALL

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39.0k Upvotes

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8.5k

u/saltnotsugar Aug 13 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy hehehehe

(Getting robbed) “uhhhh…let me write you a check.”

2.6k

u/shiky556 Aug 13 '22

It would seem the pen IS mightier than the sword

783

u/kitchen_synk Aug 13 '22

'The pen gun - mightier than the sword'

'The sword gun - mightier than the pen gun'

467

u/polo61965 Aug 13 '22

The gun gun - mightier than both

157

u/Boss_Boggs Aug 13 '22

Squall: Check out my Gun-sword!

Irving: I prefer my gun-gun.

Zell: Im'ma punch 'em

80

u/rollinstone23 Aug 13 '22

“This gun is secretly a pen”

48

u/Deltascope62 Aug 13 '22

Is the ink colour red, perchance?

3

u/whittler Aug 13 '22

the penis

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17

u/DrJokerX Aug 13 '22

Poor Zell. He never was the sharpest tool in the shed…

22

u/Boss_Boggs Aug 13 '22

Shut up.

Have you ever had YOUR face tattoo copied by Iron Mike Tyson?

7

u/DrJokerX Aug 13 '22

Lol holy crap, I nearly spit my water 😂

7

u/Boss_Boggs Aug 13 '22

The holy grail of punching respect.

Real recognizes real.

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28

u/Reyox Aug 13 '22

Pen pineapple apple gun. The mightiest of all.

6

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SCHNAUS Aug 13 '22

If it wasn’t for inflation screwing my life I would so gold this…

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10

u/PokemonMaster619 Aug 13 '22

AR-15. MK-5. Mac-10. Paprika.

3

u/Raiden1847062 Aug 13 '22

I watched that episode last night. One of the few times Stan is making sense. Lol

3

u/RageEataPnut Aug 13 '22

AR15, MP5, MAC 10, Paprika..

3

u/Hot-Class8889 Aug 13 '22

I was just about to say this. I love American dad.

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67

u/KlaatuBrute Aug 13 '22

"I'll take the penis mightier for $500"

27

u/DasbootTX Aug 13 '22

Not a fan of the ladies, are you? Trebek?

4

u/2x4x93 Aug 13 '22

Your mother is, Trebek

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26

u/Just_Expendable Aug 13 '22

I read that in Sean Connery's accent. Lol!!

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42

u/meateatr Aug 13 '22

A stroke of the pen and the deed is done.

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38

u/ashu54 Aug 13 '22

The writing was on the wall.

14

u/ForeverTheElf Aug 13 '22

chuckles Along with the rest of him.

4

u/YirbyBond00Y Aug 13 '22

Don't touch that! That's my lunch...

3

u/shiky556 Aug 13 '22

RIP Desmond LLewelyn

17

u/astutelyabsurd Aug 13 '22

I’ve got to ask you about the Penis Mightier...What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?

7

u/AlmanzoWilder Aug 13 '22

My penis leaking.

4

u/steadyfan Aug 13 '22

You should have a doctor look at that

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3

u/Fine_Classic1153 Aug 13 '22

My pen(is) mightiest

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235

u/rearwindowsnailkale Aug 13 '22

Robber: "Is that a fucking bullet?"

"Uh-uh no! Just changing out the ink cartridge! Heheh.."

344

u/horny_T_Girl Aug 13 '22

God damnit that's hilarious fuck you that hurt

86

u/nsfw_vs_sfw Aug 13 '22

Wow, that's odd. There isn't 17 different r/angryupvote replies

31

u/BBH_pinecone Aug 13 '22

Not 17 but more than half so its ok

12

u/nsfw_vs_sfw Aug 13 '22

Well, I went ahead and finished it. Probably going to delete in an hour but atleast we can leave a good first impression

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62

u/Conscious-Addition-5 Aug 13 '22

“Yeah let me just grab this pen that I keep next to my leg cock and balls”

fucking shoots it

20

u/clefthanded Aug 13 '22

I hears this in Sean Connery's voice

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11

u/Passiononion Aug 13 '22

Robbers gave you their pen

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983

u/sportsnwars Aug 13 '22

Well, we found James Bond's burner account

68

u/SPE92 Aug 13 '22

More like Q’s

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2.9k

u/lobo2r2dtu Aug 13 '22

We had those in the early 90s. In the Balkans. My dad was getting ready to go out one day, I remember, had that pen with one charge small caliber. He went to grab his jacket from the couch and that shit dropped on the floor and popped, bullet straight in the wall. That thing had poor safety, literally like a pan with a L shape pull.

1.6k

u/getyourcheftogether Aug 13 '22 Wholesome

Bro kept his pen loaded

726

u/horny_T_Girl Aug 13 '22

There's nothing more useless than an unloaded pen gun

176

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

[deleted]

78

u/braintrustinc Aug 13 '22

Yes, but it's when your gun is out of ink that you have a real problem.

<<Zoidberg noises>>

6

u/Karest27 Aug 13 '22

That does indeed sound like something Zoidberg would say lol

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u/JaskaJii Aug 13 '22

If you point your unloaded pen gun at someone and ask them "Do you feel lucky, punk?", I bet it isn't as effective as with an unloaded gun.

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u/DrDrewBlood Aug 13 '22

“You know I keep that muthafuckin’ pen on me!”

4

u/LightsoutSD Aug 13 '22

And cocked….dumb. Idc if there is a safety.

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76

u/schizomorph Aug 13 '22

If I'm not mistaken, the Balkans were flooded with them after the Albanian regime collapse.

28

u/cruelhumor Aug 13 '22

Can you elaborate? Sounds interesting

62

u/schizomorph Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Not a lot. I just remember them being around after the Albanian regime collapse. I think the Government had setup and Ponzi scheme that failed. The Balkans were flooded with all sorts of weapons. Then there was the Yugoslavian war. A lot of weapons were smuggled after that too. It is only natural to guess that Europe will be flooded from all sorts of weapons after the war in Ukraine. From old soviet antiques to high tech AT and rocket launchers that can down planes.

Edit: I forgot to mention something quite fundamental. When the Albanian regime collapsed, the army deserted and people broke into all their camps and pillaged them. There was a flow of AKs, grenades etc. I think that's when the pen pistols came too.

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u/asshair Aug 13 '22

My friend did the peace corps in Albania. He was an American shot by one of these pen guns by one of the kids he taught. The US government didn't report on it so there wouldn't be an incident.

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197

u/SplodyPants Aug 13 '22

Seems like a mistake waiting to happen on every level. It's clearly no good unless you're point blank, you only get one shot and it's such a small caliber you better get them in a vital organ.

I'd rather have a knife.

179

u/RandoCalrissian11 Aug 13 '22

More people have been murdered with a .22 than any other caliber, if you exclude war. It’s a favorite of hit men. Less noise, less mess.

82

u/SplodyPants Aug 13 '22

I believe that but that's from guns with more than 1 round that you can aim, with rifled barrels so you stand a better chance of hitting what you aim at. And that bullet has a very light load. If it is a .22 it's very very weak and not likely to be lethal unless you get a vital organ. That's to say nothing of the fact that if more than one person is attacking you, you're totally fucked.

56

u/RandoCalrissian11 Aug 13 '22

Well yes, it’s only good for one shot as close range, preferably to the temple.

As for hitman using a .22, it’s usually short barreled pistols at close to point blank range.

158

u/glibgloby Aug 13 '22

Hitman here. Yes this is true. We have to get right up close. The latest walking shoes with the giant cushions have made us deadlier than ever.

There are some sniper hitmen but they’re very looked down upon in the community.

119

u/Minervacat_ Aug 13 '22

Sniper hitman here. This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Getting right up close puts you at risk and makes it harder to flee the scene. We wear shoes with springs in them to help climb fences and run. Pillow shoes are used only by amateurs who haven’t been in the business long and won’t be in it for long.

84

u/Juliette787 Aug 13 '22

Pillow Shoe salesman here. People often think that being a hitman or sniper hitman requires spring shoes. Not the case. Being crouched behind a sniper gun or even close range requires stealth and comfort. Can you imagine having to remove your spring shoes to massage your feet? Dead! 90% of pillow shoes are being used by the original owner…

44

u/GalacticBattlesnake Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 14 '22

Spring shoe salesman here. People often think that pillow shoes are worn by more living hitmen and that’s just not factual. I’ve been selling spring shoes for 47 years and my cousin Vinny specializes in pillow shoes. We thought we would corner the market but what happened is I live in the Hamptons and make 7 figures a year. Cousin Vinny lives in a 2 bedroom apartment in Jersey with his family of 8. The problem with pillow shoes is that the pillow cases need changing a lot. They often tear from walking on concrete. Spring shoes are more durable and come in various diameters with various total coil counts. They are more customizable.

37

u/OkayWhyNotFfs Aug 13 '22

Victim here. Can confirm. Have been killed by more hit men with spring shoes than pillow shoes.

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u/TheHaloChief117 Aug 13 '22

Salesmen salesman here. As you can see, these are two of my finest products. No hesitancy, complete confidence in their product, eloquent. Really, it's a steal and, just for you, I'll let you buy one and get the other half off.

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u/W0bb1ez Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Lmao… you watch too many movies!

Do you believe the majority of murders are hitmen runnning around with .22s? Without researching, I’m nearly positive that the most common round in America for homicide is the 9mm. It’s also a NATO round so likely found around the world…

But please prove me wrong with a source that’s more credible than your word.

Edit… ok it looks like this claim has some merit, but some of the sources I’ve found are less than credible. The most common round in the world is 9mm, but Australia has a claim that .22s are the most common in murders (source appeared dated and ehhh)

The hitman claim is pretty accurate! Leaving my original comment up because you might be right. My apologies, my friend!

14

u/dood_nice Aug 13 '22

You are a good lad.

7

u/W0bb1ez Aug 13 '22

I try… fail sometimes, but do the best I can!

12

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

[deleted]

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u/W0bb1ez Aug 13 '22

Thanks!

3

u/ConservativDemocrat Aug 13 '22

Now what about hitmen in Brazil / Mexico I would bet it's 9mm

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u/LostMyGunInACardGame Aug 13 '22

Why is it never a normal story that comes out of the Balkans?

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1.1k

u/bobthehills Aug 13 '22

This seems safe.

295

u/fish312 Aug 13 '22

This artifact wand is imbued with (1) charge of the Avada Kedavra spell.

48

u/Objective-Carob-5336 Aug 13 '22

Tomorrow we'll learn how to use an AK-47, but it's just to scratch your back.

63

u/dubcatz6969 Aug 13 '22

Yeah his fingers definitely slipped. Even not safe to demo

52

u/Javyev Aug 13 '22

He was literally aiming at himself as he loaded it...

9

u/Lickwidghost Aug 13 '22

At his crotch

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u/sambob Aug 13 '22

Looks like a great way to lose a finger or two

3

u/Jaycoht Aug 13 '22

I got major anxiety watching this person point the barrel towards themselves as they unscrewed the nozzle on the front. This just seems like a great way to shoot yourself.

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663

u/potical1st Aug 13 '22

Yeah, but can it write?

778

u/FraggerHimself Aug 13 '22 Silver Helpful Doom

With enough bullets

127

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Garry’s Mod has entered the chat

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48

u/johanngunn Aug 13 '22

I will fill you so full of led you’ll be using your dick for a pencil

6

u/Insertusernamehere5 Aug 13 '22

Would you say you have a… plethora of pencils?

5

u/ABCDEFuckenG Aug 13 '22

Do you know what a plethora is?

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u/johanngunn Aug 13 '22

….zen I learned about movie tricks…. I was cruzhed

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u/tojro Aug 13 '22

In blood

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2.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22 Helpful

[deleted]

429

u/ReadditMan Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

But is it mightier than the gun sword?

242

u/Crowdcontrolz Aug 13 '22

Excuse me sir. The proper vernacular is gunblade. Thank you.

155

u/DontKnoWhatMyNameIs Aug 13 '22 Silver Wholesome

Finally... a gunblade specialist.

58

u/Silva_Shadow96 Aug 13 '22

suddenly final fantasy

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u/StainedBlue Aug 13 '22

The US Navy actually issued gun blades in 1838, for the Wilkes-South Sea Expedition. Apparently, they were surprisingly effective against the poor Fijian warriors who tried to attack them.

Unfortunately, they stopped using them shortly after, since in reality, a gunblade is just a stupidly heavy gun and ridiculously unwieldy sword, achieving only mediocrity in both aspects.

36

u/Crowdcontrolz Aug 13 '22

So what you’re saying is, they weren’t strong enough to wield them.

18

u/sirsedwickthe4th Aug 13 '22

Time to activate the super soldiers

14

u/Raestloz Aug 13 '22

The SOLDIER, if you will

4

u/polo61965 Aug 13 '22

But Squall is

3

u/PsychologicalServe15 Aug 13 '22

How about a bladegun

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87

u/Yeti-420-69 Aug 13 '22

The Penis Mightier for $200

11

u/conradbirdiebird Aug 13 '22

Bloop

"Mr Burt Reynolds"

"Nah that's no my name. "

"Ok.... Mr Turd Furgeson. "

"(Laughing) Yea, what do ya want?"

26

u/Amazing_Swordfish206 Aug 13 '22

Best SNL skits of all time

31

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

[deleted]

21

u/Ok_Yogurtcloset1324 Aug 13 '22

I’ll take jap anus relations for 300

18

u/tastefunny Aug 13 '22

The rapist for $200

11

u/Pain_Monster Aug 13 '22

“I spent the majority of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover! Not being successful in that endeavor was one of my biggest regrets!” 😂

10

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 Aug 13 '22

“Ruff, just how your mother likes it Trebek!”

13

u/Pain_Monster Aug 13 '22

I’ll take “Catch the Semen for $200 Alex”…

That’s “Catch These Men”, Sean!

“Le Tits Now”

🤦‍♂️

3

u/pigcommentor Aug 13 '22

Anal bum cover for shix, Alex.

5

u/brianMMMMM Aug 13 '22

Call it whatever you want Trebek the question is does the product work?

21

u/notfromchicago Aug 13 '22

I can't see that phrase spelled out without laughing about pen is (penis). I'm 42 and this still gets me. I doubt I'll ever grow up.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Pain_Monster Aug 13 '22

“Hard”

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u/bourbon_and_icecubes Aug 13 '22

I'll take The Penis Mightier for $200, Alex.

3

u/94_Wolfie_9450 Aug 13 '22

Never bring a knife to a pen gun fight

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481

u/SPACEJEBUSS Aug 13 '22

“Sell me this pen”

179

u/urge_kiya_hai Aug 13 '22

(Pointing)

"Hand over your wallet kind sir"

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466

u/maggieufledu Aug 13 '22

Amidst mugging: “Excuse me dear sir, for just one moment… I just have to take this pen apart for a quick second…”

102

u/elppaenip Aug 13 '22

Just change gun pens, its faster than reloading

12

u/ZeroBlade-NL Aug 13 '22

Maybe you could put a bunch of gun pens in a special holder of some sort. Then add a kind of mechanism to fire and then discard them. Put some grips on it to hold it steady, maybe a support for your shoulder to help against recoil. A thingy of some sort to look through to help aiming

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219

u/Maykitsune Aug 13 '22

I would end up shooting myself or someone else accidentally.... I love clicking pens...

32

u/Sci-MomT18 Aug 13 '22

Definitely shooting myself or someone because this pen makes a great fidget toy during boring meetings where you want to blow your brains out of boredom.

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u/Prince_Chunk Aug 13 '22

Points barrel at hand though most of it…

47

u/Moshiemosh Aug 13 '22

Exactly what I was thinking.

8

u/JackHGUK Aug 13 '22

Yeah I wouldn't tighten that shit with it facing my palm 😂

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u/MadMax080617 Aug 13 '22

How fifth graders feel taking apart a pen and putting it back together

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31

u/bk15dcx Aug 13 '22

If you had one shot, would you take it?

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u/rocksfly Aug 13 '22

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

7

u/redditisnowtwitter Aug 13 '22

Mom's spaghetti

22

u/cocteau17 Aug 13 '22

One of these days somebody’s going to take one of those onto a commercial plane and after that nobody’s going to be allowed to have pens when they fly.

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15

u/BarrackJobunga Aug 13 '22

Khyberpass customs always with the wild shit

44

u/Pipoca_com_sazom Aug 13 '22

"Sem escandalo família ✌️"

8

u/jubida Aug 13 '22

Vim procurar os br r/suddenlycaralho (prgicosa dms pra postar la)

12

u/poderpode Aug 13 '22

Sem escandalo família

Is this a meme in Brazil?

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3

u/Kae_nvs Aug 13 '22

Eu li essa porra e comecei a chorar de rir kkkkkkkkkkk

59

u/BriefCheetah4136 Aug 13 '22

I hope all those kids playing in the background are still playing!

30

u/Xunaun Aug 13 '22

What do you think the target was?

14

u/detour1234 Aug 13 '22

The other kids with the pumped up kicks

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u/freddurstredflatbill Aug 13 '22

Wait dont mug me yet i gotta assemble my pen gun!

27

u/Zealousideal_Farm560 Aug 13 '22

im sure you’re aware but:

its for assassinations

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u/hawkwings Aug 13 '22

A long time ago, I saw lipstick that was secretly a gun on TV. You don't want to make a mistake with that.

7

u/Rugermedic Aug 13 '22

Lipstick Tazer!!

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u/mooslapper Aug 13 '22

Dude just shot a gun while we can hear kids in the background lmao

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u/MarginalOmnivore Aug 13 '22

Can't believe this dude is loading it with the barrel pointed at his palm.

I guess he wants his hand to whistle?

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u/MediocreAd9430 Aug 13 '22

I want me one of those

16

u/pz-kpfw_VI Aug 13 '22

"The man with the golden gun!"

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u/Chard069 Aug 13 '22

Is that chambered for a .22? Just what I need for firing small-shot loads at cockroaches. If any.

25

u/the_real_JFK_killer Aug 13 '22

It looks rimless, and I think I can see a primer on the back, so I don't think it's. 22lr. Probably a .25 ACP

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u/BongMeesteR Aug 13 '22

Looked like a .22 to me

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u/Additional_Ad3155 Aug 13 '22

This dude legit loaded a gun while the barrel was facing him. wow

14

u/the_icon_of_sin_94 Aug 13 '22

Finally, a way to sneak a pen into a US school

14

u/zoot_boy Aug 13 '22

Queue the 007 soundtrack

7

u/crankit211 Aug 13 '22

So you loaded a gun while the barrel was pointed at you?

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u/Shaurma99 Aug 13 '22

was not expecting that much of a kickback

11

u/Prestigious-Eye3154 Aug 13 '22

The pen probably weighs only a couple ounces, so no weight to mitigate recoil.

14

u/rudedudelivingcrude Aug 13 '22

That's not a gun, that's a cannon!

20

u/wedontdothathear Aug 13 '22

Thank you, Q

16

u/Kindly_Region Aug 13 '22

Not very secret if you show everyone

133

u/e2Nokia Aug 13 '22

Back to school shoppings going to hit different this year.

68

u/Kyergr Aug 13 '22

Imagine buying an nft 🤢

63

u/MichaelWestenOP Aug 13 '22

Dunno why you're getting downvoted, if you're buying digital pictures with real money...you're a fucking tool lmao.

48

u/Pyronic_Chaos Aug 13 '22

Probably because an NFT has nothing to do with a pen gun.

16

u/OrangeSimply Aug 13 '22

He was commenting on the person's pfp I'm assuming.

5

u/real_nice_guy Aug 13 '22

i'm on "old" reddit still (Old Reddit gang rise up) so I think some of us don't see PFPs.

4

u/sideone Aug 13 '22

Old Reddit gang member here. What's a pfp?

4

u/real_nice_guy Aug 13 '22

my man 🤝

profile picture

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u/Actaeon_II Aug 13 '22

Yup, those have been a thing since wwii era, spies, sabateurs, even resistance fighter who would use this to kill an enemy then take their weapons.

10

u/Prixxellz Aug 13 '22

Ahh I see its an American Pen

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u/Curious-Accident9189 Aug 13 '22

I'm ten top comments in and zero "American school supplies" jokes has me fucking shook and respecting humans again.

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9

u/thekinginyello Aug 13 '22

This penis: secretly a gun

7

u/Rocket_AG Aug 13 '22

I legit read and re-read it as "this penis is secretly a gun."

3

u/HornyForTacosIII Aug 13 '22

"PEN GUN! Mightier than the sword-gun!"

3

u/s_dsquid Aug 13 '22

I guess the pen really is mightier than the sword

3

u/BobT21 Aug 13 '22

A .22 pistol once saved my life. I was with my buddy hiking in the wilderness when a bear attacked us. I drew my .22 pistol. My buddy shouted "That is not going to stop a bear." I shot my buddy in the kneecap and ran like hell.

3

u/N0FaithInMe Aug 13 '22

"Pen gun... mightier than the sword"

3

u/Pr1smaticGamer Aug 13 '22

"Trust me bro, just pull the thingy then push in the other thingy."

3

u/SupremeElect Aug 13 '22

new fear unlocked

3

u/spunkerspawn Aug 13 '22

Imagine accidentally bringing your pen/gun to work instead of your actual ink pen.

- "All I need is your signature, and we can call this billion dollar merger a success!"

3

u/Chaleowin Aug 13 '22

Now carried by the IRS.

3

u/Jacobaiii Aug 13 '22

Can we make a whiteboard marker shotgun next?

5

u/DeaconBleuCheese Aug 13 '22

Used to make those out of car antennas way back, we called them zip guns. Surprised I still have ten fingers.

6

u/Vytian Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Then don't point it into your goddamn hand after you've armed it

Edit: Ok I'll admit I thought the cut to the clip of them charging and firing it was the video repeating, but even so, that live round was pointing right into their hand as they were screwing it back together, and charged or not, it's not exactly safe practice

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u/meester13T Aug 13 '22

Anyone know the name of this thing? Is it still available?

15

u/md2b78 Aug 13 '22

“Illegal concealed weapon”

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

I can almost guarantee this is home made.

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u/Charming_Pension_879 Aug 13 '22

A few places make limited batches, requires at least one tax stamp

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u/squaredistrict2213 Aug 13 '22

I cringed a little when he loaded it with the barrel facing him. Even if it’s not shaped like a gun, never point it at something you don’t intend to destroy

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u/OdysseyZen Aug 13 '22

Sheeet... Now they gotta check all the pens the students bring in... You 🤬

5

u/tsbabybrat Aug 13 '22

You can buy them for $100 have fun Americans

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