r/gaming 11d ago

You can't have Gollum, we have Gollum at home. Gollum at home:

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36.7k Upvotes

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u/Warribo 11d ago

The look on the face of the second Gollum says it all, it's like "WTF happened to this game" lol

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u/Zaptagious 11d ago All-Seeing Upvote

He looks like if you played around with Dobby the house elfs face in the Mario 64 minigame

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u/ddh85 Boardgames 11d ago

Did anyone else see all the trailers but felt no desire to play the game?

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u/MOOShoooooo 11d ago

The only desire is the name LotR.

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u/BurntheHumanRace 11d ago

I just want to play as Talion again, is that too much to ask? I want the combat back, other than doom it's the only other game Ive played that makes you feel like an invincible badass

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u/AscendedViking7 11d ago edited 11d ago

I want a LOTR RPG.

Like, Idk, The Witcher 3 but with actual good gameplay and an RDR2-quality world.

Or a game like Baldur's Gate 3 but set in LOTR.

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u/AmoebaPrize 11d ago

If you don't mind turn based combat LOTR: The Third Age

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u/HeavilyBearded 11d ago

I'm just now realizing the second image is the game. Hilarious.

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u/Xzenor 11d ago

Took me a while to process that as well . Like wtf

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u/Carius98 PC 11d ago

2nd gollum has that "when you flush the toilet and the water starts rising" expression

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u/RedLightsBurning75 11d ago

Looks like he’s got South Park eyes.

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u/The_Psycho_Jester779 11d ago edited 11d ago

I know gollum is ugly, but this model is ugly. What's the point of his game?

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u/Cautious_Hold428 11d ago

To milk Tolkien's corpse for all it's worth

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u/Bgeesy 11d ago

They’re just sucking the marrow out of the bones at this point.

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u/TPDS_throwaway 11d ago

His works are becoming public domain soon if laws extending it aren't passed. They're down to burn us out on shit games since the timeline is tight

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u/CaptainJackKevorkian 11d ago

I mean it's fine if it becomes public domain. It should become public domain

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u/TPDS_throwaway 11d ago

I'm not disagreeing, I'm saying the copyright holders are looking to max out the IP knowing it will happen. When you're just trying to make games you get trash like this.

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u/kultureisrandy 11d ago

You can thank Disney for wanting to keep a stranglehold on their IPs for this exact problem

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u/GoldenSama 11d ago

Disney and Universal. Disney is certainly a big part of it but Universal has been just as adamant and for an even worse reason; their monster movies, none of which are actually their original IP but they fight tooth and nail over their versions of the monsters.

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u/Sneedzilla 11d ago

i can certainly thank disney for keeping the piracy routes from rusting away

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u/rotating_pebble 11d ago

The entire concept has seemed ridiculous to me since I first heard about it. How did they get this so wrong? I'm a die hard Lotr fan, and also specifically a huge fan of Lotr video games, yet nothing about this appeals to me.

It's as if they did absolutely zero market research and went for the first idea some random intern put forward.

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u/Kriegmannn 11d ago

They could’ve literally made a dwarf mining game and it would’ve done a million times better lol

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u/Civil_Barbarian 11d ago

They actually are making a game about dwarves reclaiming Moria

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u/MtnDewMainiac PC 11d ago

Where did they announce this? Cause that sounds fucking awesome!

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u/Civil_Barbarian 11d ago

Apparently almost a year ago, it's coming out some time this year.

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u/FALCUNPAWNCH 11d ago

Did I hear a Rock and Stone?

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u/King_Vlad_ 11d ago

I refuse to believe "Diggy diggy hole"'s popularity in internet culture has been usurped like this.

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u/BabyFartMacGeezacks 11d ago

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole

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u/User2716057 11d ago

Wind Rose's version of it is unironically one of my favourite songs of all time. It's just so damn fun, it pushes all the right buttons for me.

And it's incredibly fun to play in Ragnarock too.

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u/Enkt105 11d ago

YYYYEEEEAAHHHH

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u/Sota77 11d ago edited 11d ago

I don't understand how this game was even greenlit. There's nothing about Gollum's character that would ever make me be like "wow Gollum would make for a great game on his own." At best, he would be an okay playable character for a single mission in a larger LOTR game.

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u/BoltgunOnHisHip 11d ago

It could have been interesting if they'd actually written a game about...y'know, Gollum. Instead it feels like they had a game for another character entirely and decided to just slap Gollum in for the name recognition.

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u/Everyonewillusebing 11d ago

You're 100% correct. They could have molded a game to make you interested in his story with stakes and even growth as they did with Saul Goodman in his show. Dude went from a oneliner spewing comic relief to a dude with potentially more depth and compelling motivation than the original protagonist. If you're gonna make a Gollum game where he's just Gollum but platforming then that's just lazy and a waste of potential.

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u/The_cats_return 11d ago edited 11d ago

Agreed. I think you could've made a Gollum story work. This games biggest mistake was requiring the most antisocial character in Lord of the Rings be social.

I got your opening hour right here: Gollum wakes up in his cell after being tortured. The tutorial has you scramble through the cell to find a hole Gollum had been digging. You climb through, climb the outer wall while avoiding orcs. You are forced to sneak up and violently beat the shit out of 2, teaching you the combat. You make your way through the sewer, up the mountain and into the open area. The game officially begins.

Have an open world style map where the way you find direction is by eavesdropping on conversations, sneaking through towns, caves, and camps; finding hints of the rings whereabouts and stealing shit you need. Killing anyone necessary, Man, Orc, Maybe even a troll to achieve your goals. Make your way to the shire, then find where you need to go up through Moria.

Converse with yourself for hints, maybe even have a development tree where depending on your conversations, you can become more sympathetic or hostile with yourself, and the dialogue you have with yourself changes based on that.

This would be my ideal Gollum game. I don't think it would've been to hard to pull off, but it would have needed a creative team.

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u/MisirterE 11d ago

Lego LOTR stays winning

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u/Raetian 11d ago

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u/Ghosts_of_yesterday 11d ago

Wtf was that

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u/Soppywater 11d ago

The Lego games are magical

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u/Tacosaurusman 11d ago

Hahaha the epic music that goes with it really makes it funnier.

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u/Original_Employee621 11d ago

It could work, but it would need some really great stealth mechanics and free roaming like Assassin's Creed.

Buut, I don't he escaped Mordor as much as Sauron letting him go after he revealed the location of the Ring. Like a plan b in case the Ringwraiths failed to bring the Ring back, Sauron could always find Gollum again.

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u/TheBusStop12 11d ago

Yeah I don't understand. The original Gollum is a 3d model as well, made 20 years ago. They could literally use that as nowadays games would probably be able to run it. But no, instead they made this. It looks like a 13 year old game model

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u/Aff3nmann 11d ago

IIRC, they were not allowed to make gollum look like in the movies due to missing contracts with warner brothers.

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u/herder__of__nerfs 11d ago

So instead they decided to make him look like Tak from the Power of Juju

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u/Sr_Underlord 11d ago

Yooo now that's a reference I haven't heard in a long long time.

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u/Gwyntorias 11d ago

What a deep cut

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u/Kgoodies 11d ago

Every Tak game started so strong but eventually you can just FEEL the point where they ran out of money. 2 had a decent ending, but I think 3 straight up said "we went over budget so no party."

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u/AfroSarah 11d ago

The deep lore, oh my god.. my childhood..

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u/El_Dud3r1n0 11d ago

"I was there Gandalf, 3000 years ago..."

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u/Simple-Wrangler-9909 11d ago

The ol' Marvel's Avengers "Let's see how close we can get to the look of the established popular IP without it being infringing" approach

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u/TSP-FriendlyFire 11d ago

Honestly, it worked for Guardians of the Galaxy, but only because they had strong personalities with great writing.

Gollum... doesn't have that.

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u/mr_rocket_raccoon 11d ago

And the character models didn't look like someone sat on a claymation project

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u/Enchelion 11d ago

Movie models are really not the same as game models, they can't just load it up the old Maya file or whatever and have it work.

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u/evilanimator1138 11d ago edited 11d ago

Back in those days, animators would get a "sliced" model, which was a super low res model of the character so it could be manipulated at an acceptable speed in, this case, Maya. Sliced basically means that the portions of the character were independent pieces. You'd have a separate piece for the head, a separate piece for the upper torso, lower torso, etc. This was easier on the computers of the time (SGI Workstations) because of the CPU and memory limitations. Today, we usually have a complete and solid mesh on the animation rig, but care still needs to be taken on the rigging side so that the rig is made in a way that doesn't hamper down the CPU. Unfortunately, the render or final look model for the films would not run well in real-time even on modern high-end systems. Topology has a lot to do with it because, in VFX, you slap on polygons until it looks beautiful. For games, how little can we get away with until it looks like the thing we're making. Film Gollum also likely had NURBS surfaces for elements such as the eyes. NURBS is an outdated modeling tool. It's still used for animation controls, but nothing else really. NURBS are very different from polygons and would not run in an engine. Sorry to get muddled in the details, figured it'd be an interesting share.

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u/bigolslabomeat 11d ago

figured it'd be an interesting share

And it was, thank you!

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u/RandomJPG6 11d ago

Yep.

Movie models are made to be very high quality and aren't made to be focused on real time performance since they end up getting rendered anyway

Game models are made to be performance driven so you have to do certain tricks to make them look good while still keeping performance in mind.

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u/Hedoesitforfree111 11d ago

They ask 60€ for this on PS5 btw.

I don't understand how you can be so shameless. The gameplay is utter dogshit too

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u/DasMotorsheep 11d ago

They ask 60€ for this on PS5 btw.

I don't understand how you can be so shameless.

They're asking 70€ for a special edition that features an in-game lore database, Gollum emotes, and VO that has elves speak in their actual language.

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u/RDR911 11d ago

Wait wtf? The elves don’t speak elvish unless you fork out cash? Fuck that.

Source?

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u/manaholik 11d ago

ay, they didnt have enough "time" in the original development so now they had to tell certain actors to come back and pay them more and thus it now costs us money

by time i mean, common fucking sense to just be more competent with millions upon millions of dollars

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u/fAP6rSHdkd 11d ago

I call bullshit. These are vastly different sections of staff working on different areas of the game. There's no reason to "pass that off" on the customer at $10 per sale because "we ran out of time." They're just trying to make more money and have nothing worth offering for it

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u/manaholik 11d ago

also that trashy gameplay/animations. from what i saw like i mean cmon...

a dedicated moder could do better, way better. this just looks like reused assets, even some walking animations clip into the ground

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u/Ghostkill221 11d ago

.just to be clear...

Dedicated fans can almost ALWAYS make something better than a large company.

(hell, there's like 20 fan made pokemon games that put the last 5 pokemon games to shame.)

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u/Puzzleheaded_Try813 11d ago

Shadow of War was peak. It's only going to be downhill from there.

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u/Hedoesitforfree111 11d ago

Yeah they took some "interesting" freedoms with the lore (Big tiddy spider, etc), but the gameplay was really fun IMHO. I also loved the nemesis system and how you can mentally break the Orcs.

Now if you want to play a good stealth game, Styx is essentially the same but exponentially better

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u/Commercial_Shine_448 11d ago

Big tiddy spider who accidentally looks like Stoya

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u/donquixote1991 11d ago

Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob? You know, the monstrous spider - descended from the vile Ungoliant! - which I used to read aloud of in our Oxford meetings of the Inklings? Well what I didn't mention back then was Shelob could also transform into a totally hot babe: all pale and dark and wan like Rebecca in Ivanhoe or what will later come to be known as the goth subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die. Christopher, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a videogame adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Shelob right - make sure she is what the Anglo-Saxons would have called a hæða ecge, a real sexy bitch.

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u/jx2002 11d ago

What we need are titties, Christopher. Giant, swangin', beautiful udders the likes we can only write about...

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u/Beyondintodarkness 11d ago

It's a common misconception that Tolkien wrote The Lord of the Rings as a backstory to his made up languages. In reality he wrote the languages and books as a backstory to his dream of giant CGI spider titties.

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u/ertebolle 11d ago

It's not a story the Maiar would tell you...

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u/UnbrokenRyan 11d ago

So this game?… Shadows if War you say it’s called? It sounds interesting.

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u/OkayRuin 11d ago

Wow. I never put that together. She absolutely does.

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u/TheKolyFrog 11d ago

I've never played the game but after seeing this comment I looked it up and, damn, she's straight up Stoya.

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u/bio180 11d ago

if i was a dev i'd make my characters look like her too

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u/Puzzleheaded_Try813 11d ago

The lore was rad if you ignore the original IP XD. It's an awesome fantasy game with excellent combat and traversal. The nemesis system is literally one of a kind.

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u/smcadam 11d ago edited 11d ago

I'm almost sad that they copyrighted the nemesis system because I would love to see it implemented in like a... gangster or superhero system. Imagine seeing plebs rising up to become terrifying supervillains because they fell in one too many vats of questionable chemicals?

EDIT: Yes, people have kindly informed me that it is a patent and of much tighter scope than the entire system!

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u/crem_flandango 11d ago edited 11d ago

Almost sad? I'm extremely sad they copyrighted the nemesis system. This kind of greedy patent trolling kills creativity. Have you ever wandered why no other games have used a dialogue wheel like Mass Effect? Same reason. To think of the awesome games we could have had...

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u/SunsetCarcass 11d ago

To think of all the awful games that released through the years, that could have had funny mini games during loading screens

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u/sixsixmajin 11d ago

Legally speaking, patents on a game mechanic aren't all that enforceable just because the patent has to be very specific and even the slightest nuance can sidestep it. The real deterrent is the resources they have at their disposal to win through pure attrition. Their arguments are going to be just good enough to keep the fight going until the defendant can no longer participate due to lack of funds. If somebody with more money and a better legal team were to try, I guarantee you they wouldn't contest it. They will only go after targets they know they can stall out.

Star Renegades has a similar system at play. Some enemies get stronger if they defeat you and they can also just randomly come back to life and get stronger. My guess is that WB just hasn't even noticed them since it's a small indie game and that's why they haven't tried but legally, SR would be in the right because while the idea is there, the specific functionally is distinct.

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u/BillFromThaSwamp 11d ago edited 11d ago

It's the "Rollin White bored through cylinder concept" of revolvers all over again. But with video games, instead of guns.

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u/tagen 11d ago

Yeah, I get that studios like money and wanna keep their good idea special to them, but there are so many games that could benefit from a Nemesis style system

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u/CaughttheDarkness 11d ago edited 11d ago

I'd love to see it in a western FPS or TPS where you play a bounty hunter and have a nemesis system with outlaws you bring in.

Edit: hell, imagine if you iterated on it in such a way where you’d be able to learn their motivations and be given the choice to bring them in or let them go. Maybe you learn a thief was trying to save his sick son, or learn a woman wanted for murder was defending herself from an abusive husband. If you let them go, they become friendly and can help you…or maybe slide deeper into a life of crime and you have to decide where the line is to where their tragic past no longer justifies their actions.

Of course some of them will always be greedy or violent bastards, but it’d be cool to allow for something that would a moral choice to it too.

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u/bullet312 11d ago

Do not DARE to talk trash about our beloved Stoya! She works the hardest, on hands and knees even, to give the best Performance she can!

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u/Don_Pasquale 11d ago edited 11d ago

Honestly preferred Shadow of Mordor, couldn’t bring myself to go through the grind to finish War

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u/Scow2 11d ago

Same. The game became a lot more boring to me once it stopped being about getting harassed by tenacious, evolving enemy orcs constantly crashing your quests to collecting them like pokemon

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u/Simba7 11d ago

Honestly the game is 'finished' once you get to that stage of the game.

It wouldn't be too bad if you didn't have to hear 8-15 orc introductions every fucking siege. Literally like 5-10 minutes of listening to orcs talk shit at you every time there's a siege. Plus the cutscene before the attack/defense.

One. One orc. Whoever the 'leader' was. That's all you fucking need.
At least give us the option to skip the damn things.

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u/KingSmizzy 11d ago

Honestly the introductions were driving me insane by the end of the game. Some inconsequential orcs that die in 3 hits would still give a 15 second long speech taunting me.

I started using the sneak attacks specifically so I could kill them before they gave their stupid intro

But then half of them became immune to sneak attacks...

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u/Petersaber 11d ago

I think they patched a lot of it out. I've looked up guides for the Shadow Wars, and they listed 10 stages with multiple sieges each - when I played (late last year), the Shadow Wars ended after 3 stages, and 6 (or fewer) sieges total, and I was playing on Hard difficulty.

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u/jak2125 11d ago

This is an actual LotR game? I thought this was some grotesque created character in another game.

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u/_Cecille 11d ago

... Is this an actual screenshot from the game? (Please just be trolling or whatever, this can't be the real thing)

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Jealous-Ninja5463 11d ago

Gollums voice is absolute shit too. It's like they just picked an intern with a sore throat

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u/Omega33umsure 11d ago

He looks like Spot from The Good Dinosaur who found out what meth is so I'm not shocked.

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u/MrGrieves- 11d ago

It's absolutely the in game model, looks terrible in cut scenes.

See it here, https://youtu.be/nL-S_j36eFw

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u/HighOnTacos 11d ago

I thought it looked bad from the screenshots... But the movement is awful too.

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u/Purple10tacle 11d ago

Well, yeah, but to be fair: it matches the awful gameplay.

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u/Dud-of-Man 11d ago

wtf, 6 hours! full game 6 hours! for a 70 dollar game! my god it looks horrible, Gollum is fuck ugly and not in a fun way, the animations are weird, god damn what an awful game.

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u/pak215 11d ago

6 hours may seem unreasonably short, but it is far, FAR longer than any sane person would want to play this game.

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u/Dud-of-Man 11d ago

6 hours isnt awful, Stray with around 6 hours, difference is stray was $30 on release

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u/Popular_Syllabubs 11d ago

This looks like the Hobbit game from 2003.

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u/chocolatecows88 11d ago

The hobbit looked better honestly

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u/Ok_Firefighter1293 11d ago

Holy late PS3 Gandalf model that's bad: https://youtu.be/nL-S_j36eFw?t=1493

Gollum looks so dopey in all those scenes!

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u/rugology 11d ago

idk what app is amending URLs with unnecessary markdown formatting escapes but here is a valid URL of the link for peeps who can't see the video because of it

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u/MedricZ 11d ago

Why is it so laggy when seemingly nothing is happening? Why does it look like a PS3 game?

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u/FrithRabbit 11d ago

Don’t insult the PS3 like that

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u/jambrand 11d ago

Just watch Skill Up's review here and then move on with your life. This game is just utter garbage.

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u/Savagecal01 11d ago

what is this game?

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u/kaitco 11d ago

It looks like the new LOTR Gollum game, which appears somewhat…underwhelming.

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u/RZAtheAbbot 11d ago

Looks like Spot from The Good Dinosaur

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u/XanderVaper 11d ago

Like Spot meets Crazy Frog

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u/Papaofmonsters 11d ago

Spot picked up a bit of meth habit after his success as a child movie star.

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u/Neville_Lynwood 11d ago

What a weird game idea. To have gollum to chores in prison while raising a pet bird.

Could have had a stealth-action game where you try to sneak out while killing guards and shit, but instead we get this. Though that said, I think it would have been hard to make a proper game around the premise to begin with.

Whomever brainstormed the idea really didn't know what they were doing. Probably just wanted to get free money by latching onto the IP.

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u/Tasty01 11d ago

They could have made a Gollum Styx game pretty easily. Set in Cirith Ungol with text in the environment like Deathloop to signify Gollums state of mind.

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u/Paulsworldohya 11d ago

I thought that was what this is? I haven't looked at all into this game but from the beginning i was just thinking i played a gollum game, it was that first Styx game. So its not similar to that Styx game?

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u/xiaorobear 11d ago

It's apparently more of a puzzle-platformer adventure game, like the ones that were common in the PS2 era, which people are surprised at. The stealth mechanics are pretty simple and there are no RPG elements / progression, so not really like Styx.

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u/TalkOfSexualPleasure 11d ago

That's exactly what I was thinking about watching a gameplay video. My exact thoughts were, "This looks like a playstation 2 game."

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u/Thunderstarer 11d ago

It's... weirdly nostalgic, in the worst way? I'm almost glad it exists.

It'a like, "Hey, look, the licensed shovelware games are back." There's something almost comforting about seeing the same old pattern crop up again.

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u/Beatrix_-_Kiddo 11d ago

Go and watch the Skillup review on YouTube, this game is a pile of dogshit and that review shows it off in all it's shitty glory.

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u/notusuallyhostile 11d ago

If this had been made as a “Sméagol: Descent into Madness”, like Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, I would have played it ‘til my fingers bled. The idea of hearing the whispering of the Ring, and echoes of the other Rings of Power bouncing around inside Sméagol’s head in full 3D sound would have been amazing. If I wanted a Gollum game, it would be one that happens before he slinks into the mountain, but after he kills Deagol and takes the ring. Putting it on and spying on his family and neighbors, getting into mischief, eventually getting cast out - there’s a perfect gap in the lore between acquiring the Ring and vanishing into the mountains that a good writer could fill with decades of non-canon that could still be loyal to the lore.

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u/Darth_Nibbles 11d ago

Stop, stop! I can only get so erect!

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u/joegekko 11d ago

good writer

Well there's your problem.

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u/DinkleDonkerAAA 11d ago

His physical transformation should be so gradual you don't even notice till he's completely different

All of a sudden you just realize he's gone

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u/EverythingHurtsDan 11d ago

We don't talk enough about Senua. The sequel is coming out soon!

I remember playing the first game with my new headset and losing the sight of time, almost like I was actually in her head. The subtle breakings of the 4th wall made it all alive.

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u/straight_gay 11d ago

Wait I thought it WAS a stealth action game where you sneak out. I haven't been keeping up with development at all since seeing a trailer a couple years ago I think. What is the actual game like then?

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u/Dud-of-Man 11d ago

it looks like an old tomb raider game with puzzles, but i only watch about 5 minutes of the game and i skipped alot, it looks so bad.

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u/poofynamanama2 11d ago

Apparently, at the end of the game, you have the choice to kill or keep the bird. For no reason whatsoever.

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u/shifty_coder 11d ago

A game centered on Gollum, in general, is a weird idea.

If your timeline is pre-LotR, then I suppose we start as Sméagol, find the ring at some point, and by the end, we transform into Gollum, and end as a hermit in the Misty Mountains? Otherwise, we see the story of LotR from Gollum’s perspective, and end falling into the fires of Mount Doom? Neither sound particularly interesting or fun.

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u/Rinoz_ 11d ago

It’s before LotR, after Gollum has lost the Ring and wanders around in search of Bilbo to retrieve it. He is hunted by both Mordor and Aragorn/Gandalf, and ends up prisoner of both. At first he is tortured and released by Sauron, and after he passes the Mountains of Shadow he is captured by Aragorn, interrogated by Gandalf, and kept prisoner in Mirkwood until he manages at last to escape.

The game, afaik, covers this timeframe in which he is hunted by everyone while trying to find where the Shire is, but I don’t know if it moves past to cover the events of LotR. Since it seems like the game only covers Mirkwood and Mordor, I doubt it.

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u/IrrelevantLeprechaun 11d ago

The game only goes up until he gets into Moria.

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u/FallenShadeslayer 11d ago

He wasn’t Sméagol right before LOTR though. This all takes place after he loses the ring in The Hobbit. He’s been gollum for a long time already. Hundreds of years.

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u/risen_peanutbutter 11d ago

It looks like a hastily made powerpoint slide

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u/dndrinker 11d ago

Don’t be hasty!

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u/deeseearr 11d ago

Hoom hah.

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u/licustLucius 11d ago

And this very graphics demands like 16Ram and 2060RTX as minimum requerment?!

Telltale games looked more fancy on my tablet.

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u/marniconuke 11d ago

yeah like what happened? why are games nowadays so demanding if quality isn't improving?

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u/Chernobog3 11d ago

I watched a forty minute gameplay preview of this yesterday. PS3 graphics, Gollum looks like the lovechild of Raz from psychonauts and a rectal thermometer, and the elves sound like they're attending a high society yacht club. It misses the mark on so many levels. It's also one of those games where the character frequently narrates their mundane actions from point a to point b.

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u/xtr44 11d ago

so what's the gameplay? like what do you do in this game, because I'm confused

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u/Chernobog3 11d ago

I'm not entirely sure, actually. Most of the gameplay I watched was Gollum climbing, swimming, and listening to elves talking trash like he's not even there, while he has mental arguments with himself. It was kind of rudimentary and unengaging but maybe there was more going on outside of what I watched. I just recall it being kind of dull.

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u/koumus 11d ago

No. That's pretty much the 6 hours of it.

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u/Bashwhufc 11d ago

GTFOH! It's only 6 hours for £60?

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u/koumus 11d ago

Yep, the guy on Youtube finished it in 6 hours and 12 minutes I think, he wasn't even rushing. I watched some 40 minutes of random parts, and it's definitely one of the worst games I have ever seen in my entire life. Easily a top 3 worst games for me.

I feel like they should have gone for a movie if they really wanted to milk this shit. It would've probably cost them not that much more and the return would be better. This game is definitely not selling with that price tag and these ratings.

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u/greenw04 11d ago

It looks like it's a PS2 style platformer, like one of the ones your mom got you because she saw it in the bargain bin and went "Oh they might like this" and you try it and literally all you do is platform and climb stuff. No extras, no weapons, no collectibles, just get from point A to point B so the next cutscene can play.

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u/D_jake_b 11d ago

It reminds me of my ex buying eragon the game because the book was good and the GameStop guy looking embarrassed she was getting it.

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u/quartzguy 11d ago

Gollum sounds like he should be crouching on the sidewalk and wearing a tracksuit at times in this game. I don't know who voiced him but I'm guessing they are from the balkans.

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u/sophisticaden_ 11d ago

The font choice is puzzling.

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u/GunResiAddict 11d ago

Its just like those fonts that are used in mobile games.

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u/xReshi92 11d ago

It's for accessibility. Even then, yes, it's poorly done.

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u/Ciretako 11d ago

It's Calibri according to a comment on this image on twitter. It's such a default font.

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u/EtheusRook 11d ago

Literally who even asked for a Gollum game?

What's next? A Jar Jar Binks RPG? A JarJaRPG?!

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u/Mechanized1 11d ago

Meesa killed everyone. Not Just the Men, but the Women and Children Too.

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u/EtheusRook 11d ago

Has an Infamous style morality system to make Darth Jar Jar a thing.

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u/FriarNurgle 11d ago

Lots of people are saying Jar Jar is a Sith. Someone should look into that.

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u/BlueKat25 11d ago

I would unironically want to play that game.

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u/deeseearr 11d ago

The KotOR remake was delayed and then cancelled because Aspyr had originally insisted on reworking it to include playable Gungan characters.

When asked about the status of the game at yesterday's investor briefing, Embracer CEO Lars Wingefors raised both hands and said "My give up. My give up."

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u/beastwarking 11d ago

This reads like a fake George Lucas quote.

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u/LevelStudent 11d ago

Plus it's slotted into a time frame where nothing can happen that progresses any major stories or characters. Gollum still needs to be the exact same at the end since that's how he started in LOTR.

At least with a JarJar RPG you could set it during his time on the galactic council and actually have some stories with consequences and characters as he tries to help out some Republic planets. Heck, you could even kill him off at the end if it's set after Ep3.

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u/JaySayMayday 11d ago

I feel like that's the point. Like the Rings of Power series weren't really based off anything substantial. The Tolkien estate is extremely careful with their IP, very few people will ever get approval to make anything worthwhile. So it's not surprising they made an inconsequential game where Gollum is just doing menial tasks.

I feel really lucky we got that one banger LOTR game after the movies.

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u/Ben_Kenobi_ 11d ago

I would like to formally put in my request for a Darth Jar Jar game.

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u/ElefantPharts 11d ago

I love the theory that Jar Jar was supposed to be the big baddy in the prequels and he was just playing the goofy roll to throw everyone off and get on the rebels good side until the roll was so poorly received that Lucas cut the character and rewrote the ending.

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u/EtheusRook 11d ago

It's the greatest film fan theory of all time, IMO.

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u/TaliesinMerlin 11d ago

I didn't ask for it, but I think the concept behind a Gollum game could be interesting, especially if they went heavy on the stealth and the lore. The issue here was execution.

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u/vitali_advenil 11d ago

Fucker looks like he skinned the evil chef from Ratatouille and wore his face.

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u/ihateaccountnames24 11d ago

I knew I recognised the face from somewhere! Bang on, was bugging me all day

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u/ertebolle 11d ago

Everybody was all mad for years about the conservative licensing regime under Christopher Tolkien, but it seems pretty clear now that “protect my father’s legacy by not allowing endless waves of expensive crap” was a sound strategy.

On the plus side, we have less than 10 years to go until The Hobbit enters public domain and Gollum-related art will have to compete on quality rather than license deals.

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u/Stargov1 11d ago

Latest contender for worst GOTY.

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u/SkunkJudge 11d ago

Redfall breathing a sigh of relief at this release

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u/Ok_Robot88 11d ago

It’s a race for the worst game of 2023! Will it be Redfall? Gollum? A new mystery contender? What game demanding $60/$70 will fail so hard to get this coveted title?

Stay tuned!

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u/ChibiReddit 11d ago

Don't forget Forspoken

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u/Ok_Robot88 11d ago

Omg I did indeed forget about Forespoken. That might win because it COULD have been good. It really SHOULD have been good.

Few of us had high expectations for Golum (and it still managed to massively disappoint) but Forespoken had a real opportunity to be great. All it needed was better gameplay. And writing. Also combat. Also the open world needed a rework. Basically it had a good idea.

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u/You_Stole_My_Hot_Dog 11d ago

Wait… this is what the game looks like, with system recommendations of 16GB RAM and an RTX 30 series?

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u/DanteStrauss 11d ago

RTX 30 series?

With fucking DLSS turned on!!!!!

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u/ok1092 11d ago

This game may have saved Red Fall from winning worst game of the year. Utter dog shit.

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u/NorthBoralia 11d ago

Easy now...I still have faith Skull & Bones will take that title.

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u/ok1092 11d ago

Bold of you to assume that game is even coming out this year.

… But if it does you are in fact 100 percent correct that that will take the crown

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u/OneThicBoii 11d ago edited 11d ago

Developers at Daedalic actually sat down and made this absolute piece of shit. Someone spent hours trying to make this gollum model lmfao. Imagine giving one look at this and thinking "yeah this looks good enough for people to buy it for 60 buckaroos"

I'd much rather work for a hentai asset flip studio who makes big titty waifus for a living.

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u/nonasiandoctor 11d ago

At least those are guaranteed to make people happy

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u/SagetheWise2222 11d ago

The top people working at Daedalic apparently cancelled ALL of their other projects for this one game, this one monumental gamble, effectively putting all their eggs into one basket. Well that basket of eggs looks like it's going to be tossed down a cliff.

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u/greenw04 11d ago

What's up with his hair?!?! Why does Gollum have a fucking toupée? It's a PS5 game and they couldn't even properly animate the 6 strands of hair he's supposed to have?

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u/tony_stump 11d ago

second pic looks like Gollum dropped an unexpected turd in his loin cloth, wtf is going on here??

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u/Inferior_Jeans 11d ago

Watched the skill up review and holy fuck is this game bad. I wouldn’t even play it if it was for free. Hell, I wouldn’t even finish it if they paid me $70. You have to pay $10 extra dollars for COMPLETE Voice lines???? This game deserve to be a dumpster fire

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u/SnuffTheRooster93 Console 11d ago

Can't wait to try out this new Nintendo DS game

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u/pullmydic 11d ago

Just Wait until you see the system requirements….

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u/LenniGengar 11d ago

The FUCK went wrong with that optimization?? what is going on there, Daedalic should've sticked to their little story games.

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u/kinggangweed 11d ago

Gollum game of the year. First game to sell 1 gollillion copies!

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u/mimsoo777 11d ago

The graphics was already PS3. Now it looks like psp.

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u/imetators 11d ago

Do not downshame psp ffs

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u/DaHotFuzz 11d ago

If you paid $70 for this garbage you don't deserve to get your money back lol

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u/0x7ff04001 11d ago

You're correct - I impulse bought it and now I won't return it as a punishment to myself.

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u/Spuigles 11d ago

This, looks, terrible.

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u/Purplociraptor 11d ago

It looks bad, but now I kinda want to see Willem Dafoe as Gollum deep fake.

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u/Thomas_JCG 11d ago

I could forgive the visuals, but the "gameplay" is so absurd, it's like they didn't had any ideas.

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u/ybtlamlliw 11d ago

Couldn't Gollum just take the helmet off? Then he'd be able to go kill that orc.

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u/Nudny_Patron 11d ago

They really should pick up different graphics style(type). This one looks cursed. Even 16-bit graphics would look better.

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u/UnbiasedClub213 11d ago

I feel this game was made by a newly developed AI specifically for gaming.

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