r/confessions 6h ago

I am 42 years old and a virgin.

100 Upvotes

Yep, I've made it 42 years and no one has stolen my virginity from me. Not to say I can't talk to women or am really that shy. I have a good job, go to the gym, fit enough to go on multi-day bike rides. I can talk to women in a professional setting or out in public but the second it turns flirting I shut that shit down right now. It's just my natural reaction and I hate it. Every fucking time, my brain just goes into automatic mode and pushes her away.

Now people my age are finishing up raising kids,. some are becoming grandparents. They've been through marriages, divorces, childbirth, temper tantrums, Christmases, celebrations, hardships, school plays, watching their kids grow into adults while I've spent my life on the sideline watching it all from afar.

So yeah women scare the hell out of me and I'm a virgin.


r/confessions 8h ago

My dad keeps making a joke

31 Upvotes

So, since I(17m) was about 8 my dad has always sang a song from the muppets movie/show(?) And it's like this super annoying song and I used to hate it, it's an inside joke between me and him and I started to love the joke when I was about 13 I started to love it since my dad rarely jokes around with me. I'm currently dealing with a breakup since my boyfriend(17m) broke up with me yesterday and I've been crying alot. My dad just sent me a video of the song and it suddenly made me so happy and all I could do was laugh. I don't have anyone to tell this to so I thought I'd post this here. He sends me this video to 'annoy' me but honestly I couldn't stop laughing and I honestly feel better. He made me stop crying and I love him so much.


r/confessions 13h ago

How do i break up with someone whom i love more than myself?

77 Upvotes

I can’t even go a day without talking to my bf and he is on my mind 24/7. I’ve loved him since forever more than 8 years to be precise. But i don’t receive same love i give. It’s like i’m the one caring too much giving too much every time. I had a crush on him first before we got into relationship. I know he does love me but he always ditches the plans and doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t know what should i do. I cannot not love this person. I’m just waiting for him to change and hoping the day will come sooner but i don’t know how long i will able to do that. I only want him and no one else but i also want the effort and attention i give. How to make the relationship better? I seriously want it to get better and last forever. Idk what to do.

EDIT: i’ve already communicated with him multiple times and he said he’d change multiple times too.


r/confessions 9h ago

I've been holding this in since I was in High School. So many years of pain. Thank you for listening.

41 Upvotes

Frank Picone opened a pizzeria with his brother Lou, in the early 90’s, in Huntington, Long Island New York-- right next to Walt Whitman High School. A lot of us, who had absent parents and smoked pot as a way to dissociate from the pain of our reality, cut classes and hung out there. Frank, who was probably about 15 years older, maybe around 30 at the time, became our “friend” often coming out from behind the counter to hang. Walt Whitman was not a school that shepherded its students to holistic wellbeing or taught its women to be empowered. The greatest reward available there to females who were skinny and pretty enough was the prestige of wearing tiny skirts that barely covered their butts and making the cheer team. I had no dad present and my mom a mentally, physically ill addict, who was at best in a catatonic state, at worst incredibly vicious and abusive. By the time I reached high school we had no heat in the house in the winters and a lot of the ceilings had caved in from rain and rot through the roof over the years of no upkeep. It was a dark, cold, sad, and frightening world that I came to this high school from.

There was a girl a year older than me named Lisa Ann Bakal. She appeared suddenly, amongst the roster of our mostly preppy high school with a force- her IROC Z with the vinyl “Spoiled Bitch” across the windshield, her skimpy tight outfits, mile-high hair, and eyeliner that extended out into her hair, made her presence immediately known. She, for reasons which have never been known to me, hated me to the death. To my knowledge our paths never really organically crossed, yet she sought me out and tormented me relentlessly. She pushed me in the halls, screamed obscenities like the C-word at me across crowds, scribbled in fat black marker in the bathrooms things to humiliate me. Her stares of rage and hatred scared me all the way into my cells. She talked about me to everyone, spread vicious lies, and told everyone she planned to jump and kill me. I was terrified. I lived in constant terror at home, and as there were other situations at school that were not merciful or friendly, this was another layer of the hellscape of my teenage years.

One night a guy I knew, Phil Robertson, who was a student with us but worked at Picone’s, called me and said, “Frankie wants to see you”. He picked me up and dropped me off at Frankie’s basement apartment where he lived with his wife and two small kids. His wife was out of town with the kids visiting her family in Maryland or somewhere like that, maybe Virginia. This would have been 1992, I think. I was 15, possibly 16. I dissociated heavily as I entered the apartment, which was my drug of choice at the time. It was terrifying and strange to see pictures of his wife on the walls who looked just like an older me. I didn't know what to make of that nor did I have words at the time for the complex and terrible feelings creeping over me. My body was slowly freezing into stone, and everything became a little blurry as if I were watching a movie with poor resolution.

Frank told me that he wanted to talk about "the Lisa situation". He said he was a member of La Cosa Nostra and he could protect me. He showed me his gold chain with an Italian Horn symbol on it. If I was receiving safety, why did I feel so scared? I don’t know what happened in the space between that and my next memory- laying on my back in his bed... laying there frozen and sick to the stomach of my entire being, as his penis went in and out of an area on my body that felt like it was no longer attached to my being. Thank god it was small and didn’t cause me to feel anything more than one in their sleep might be faintly aware of a burglar creeping around taking a few things. It was not like regular fucking. It was weird and I thought maybe it was how they did it in the mafia or something because if you are from Long Island, you know that is its own culture, (mostly made up of guys who have no connection to it but like to pretend). I didn’t understand what it was, but know I understand- it was pervy pedo fucking. He later told me that his wife was 13 when he first met her, and her dad wanted to keep him away from her because he was older, but he pursued her until they were together and there was nothing her father could do.

With that glaring exception, I’m not a person who would interfere knowingly with anyone’s relationship or wants to cause anyone pain. I would never do anything disrespectful; I think women should stick together. I care about people whom I don’t even know and would choose to respect and honor them, over any of my own selfish needs. That night has caused me deep confusion over my identity, depression, shame, pain and horrible guilt for most of my adult life. It compounded the pain I have toward my absent father who never in my life has defended me, and a very deep-seated fear that I don’t deserve a safe relationship where I will not be cheated on as some kind of karmic retribution. As I already was a person whom it did not feel very good to be, and this made it infinitely worse. And let’s not forget the humiliation, the feelings of absolute foolishness, as Surprise! No protection from La Cosa Nostra ever came to my high school in my defense in "the Lisa situation".

I always took full responsibility for myself since I was very small, and it wasn’t until quite recently that it even dawned on me how fucked up this was. That this guy is in fact, a pedophile. Even though the law would agree with that, as I was a young underage person- also due to my developmental trauma I had not yet developed any skills to have worth or advocate for myself- I was completely a child. Most of my adult life it never occurred to me this wasn't entirely my fault and some kind of hideous character flaw on my part. A secret that somehow defined me although there was absolutely nothing in my story that was congruent with this identity, nor did it feel like a conscious choice I sought to make.

Many years later, this pain was brought-- against my will and better judgement, to the light and both re-inflamed and compounded when a boyfriend “the angry therapist” lol, laid me down underneath his weight at the beginning of our relationship and explained that he needed to know “everything that ever happened to me” (meaning sexual abuse) so he could “understand what he was dealing with”. He then said most females have been molested and gave intimate examples of just about every female friend he had and the details of who molested them and how. I froze in horror and didn’t want to speak. I don't know what was worse, being forced suddenly to think about what happened, being forced to recount the story on the spot (and at his convenience) out loud to someone I had no desire to share it with, or the implication (from a therapist person who should have known better in all of this) that there was something that had marked me in some way that he would have to somehow adapt to. I became acutely flushed, started to pour sweat, and couldn't breathe. He repeated he “needed to know everything that happened to me along those lines so that he would know what he was dealing with”. As a guy around 40 years old who often bragged about mostly having sex with virgins, I wonder now how many times he used those stories to masturbate. I’ve yet to come to any other answer as to why he would need to aggressively pry this information out of his unwilling girlfriend, or female friends. After many years in therapy, the only conclusion we have ever been able to come to about him and his other confusing, disgusting behavior is that he is a narcissistic predator. It is sad to have to wrap and dismiss someone you used to be close to in that way, but I can’t really say in all the years I knew him that he provided any evidence that would refute that conclusion.

I hope you keep your children safe. I hope you provide refuge for your girls, so they have somewhere to turn when they are in pain and confusion rather than the places in my life which I found myself in. I hope you teach them what to do when their gut and entire body is telling them something is wrong, even if they can’t cognitively understand it. I hope you teach them worth and boundaries and self- love.

I am so sorry to Toni Picone. I shudder often at the life she may have had with a guy like that at the helm. I am so sorry for being a part of that, I always have been, and I always will be. 

Frank Picone Toni Picone Lou Picone Picone's Pizza Rocky's Pizza Hagerstown Maryland MD


r/confessions 7h ago

I hate how my parents see me as a loser because I'm not exactly like them.

19 Upvotes

They expect me to be a perfect copy of them. If I'm not then they see me as less worthy every time.

There was this party which I didn't feel like going to and I accidently told my parents about it. They looked at me like I was a fucking loser, because I didn't feel like going to a random party with no one since none of my friends were coming.

I'm not good at math but my mom was, so she expects me to do as well as her if not better. Surprise, surprise I didn't. I tried to show her that math is the only thing I struggle with and also showed her good grades from history, english and religion. I also get only 10's in PE (not american so different grading system). She could not care less and looked at me like I was somehow a disapointment because I'm not good at math like her.

I overthink EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. MISTAKE. in my entire life almost every night, so I don't like when people try to join in and remind me of my mistakes.

Yes I failed, I know.


r/confessions 1d ago

I get too happy when 3 people like my posts or comments on Reddit

1.1k Upvotes

It's hard to touch grass


r/confessions 1h ago

Screwed my secretary after she resigned

Upvotes

For around 4 years I had a secretary who was a single mom. The company doesnt pay secretaries that well so I gave her an allowance out of my own pocket every week since she had a child.

She eventually found another job overseas and I asked her for dinner before she left. We were able to admit to each other that if only the circumstances were different (like if we werent co-workers or if she was single and childless), maybe we could have dated.

Had a few drinks at the bar after and we went to my apartment. She said she also wanted to have a good memory of us before she left and wanted to thank me in some way for all the help I gave her without asking for anything in return. It was one of the most intense sex I had maybe because there was also years worth of sexual tension built up. We did it raw and she let me cum inside since she was on pills.

Now that shes overseas we still chat once in a while. As much as I wish we were able to do it earlier and more often, I know you dont really sht in your own backyard


r/confessions 14h ago

I have not had a period in a year and my back is in so much pain I can barely think some days. I can not afford doctor. I am scared, I just lost my Dad and my Mom has somewhat gone crazy. I am not sure what is going on but I am sure I feel like everything I worked for in my life is gone.

36 Upvotes

r/confessions 2h ago

I believe my mother is possessed.

3 Upvotes

My mother used to be a kind and very efficient person but after the death of my father and really well before she is consumed with money and overly concerned that everyone are losers and drug addicts. This afternoon she ridiculed me for helping a friend that had gotten into a bad situation. Nothing I do ever is complimented and she helps my enemies. I think she has gone insane.


r/confessions 20h ago

I enjoy arguing with people on the internet.

103 Upvotes

At least on Reddit, because I’m more likely to find people who are willing to have a productive conversation with me here than let’s say IG.

I’m also a diplomatic pacifist person irl but I’ve had a lot of anger issues growing up. I’ve never been able to debate well in-person, but doing it over text gives me time to put together a coherent argument and find sources if I feel I need to.

EDIT: BUT I won’t engage in debate with people who seem pointless to argue with, which is most people imo (and most of the comments here).


r/confessions 1h ago

I used a "poop knife" for the first time and it saved my life

Upvotes

Throwaway cuz this is embarrassing asf, anyway i took a fat dumb in the bathroom and the toilet got clogged and it filled with water. in my head i was thinking "oh shit i cant take the embarrassment what am i gona do" but then i remembered that story about the guy with a poop knife so i thought "ill use a butter knife to unclog it and throw the knife away after. " And so i did i scurried to the kitchen grabbed a butter knife and went back to the bathroom, i carefully tilted the knife to the toilet hole and scraped the packed poop away from the area. The water started to go down. I was clapping my hands together and jumping up and down in my head. So after the majority of the water went down i flushed the toilet and it all went down clean with no remnants. I took a deep breath and relaxed so hard i almost shat again. I wrapped the butter knife with toilet paper and put it in a garbage bag. Now the toilet is no longer clogged and thank god because the embarrassment would have been too much for me to handle.

PS. This is the only post ill make on this account im logging out and never logging back in again at an attempt to wipe this horrid memory out of my brain. Bye now.


r/confessions 2h ago

I miss my brother

3 Upvotes

He dead now, and I really miss him. He used to be such a fucking asshole, like an absolute prick. He was like that as far as I could remember, I remember I didn't care at all when he died. But now I wish he was still here to kick my ass, as sad as that is.


r/confessions 2h ago

I(18F) am waiting for the dog to die

1 Upvotes

I know this is horrid but i cant tell anyone in my life about this. I think theyd be horrified at what ive been thinking about.

My sister(35) moved into our house over half a year ago. she came in unannounced and every time shes home its constant fights with our parents. Shes very unstable but doesnt believe in therapy to going to see a psychologist so sometimes shes not here for days during mania.

She brought this dog up from Florida with her and dumped him with the guy she was dating while she lived with us, telling his kids "I got you a puppy" and she handed them this thing. Hes a french bulldog, a crooked head as a result of some crazy homeopathy my Sister did. Arthritis, not fixed. My sister would drop off food at this guys house every time they saw each other, along with weird lotions, oils and supplements that she was sure were going to fix her dog. When her boyfriend broke up with her after not being able to handle how unstable she was, he demanded she take the dog back.

she brought the dog and didn't tell anybody, bringing him in during the middle of the night and going to work like normal. I didn't figure it out because she locked the dog in her depression pit of a basement bedroom, which isnt suitable for human life let alone a dog, when she went to work. It was in the afternoon when my dad came upstairs and started yelling on the phone at my sister that she cant have the dog in the house. We have indoor cats he cant just have the dog in the house. There was a screaming match again and we kept him in the basement bedroom during the day, Id walk him when i came home from school and feed him. Do whatever weird treatments i was told to do.

Present day, there are baby gates to prevent him from going to the 2nd floor but he was free reign of the ground floor, dad felt bad for the little guy. I don't like this dog and hes miserable here. His tail never wags, he shits on my floor because my brother promises he let him out before work. He tears up everything, he smells terrible and humps anything in sight. Our cats don't go downstairs unless its night and the dog is in the cage. Its not my dog and i have to take care of it "don't you love your brother?" is all i hear every time i complain about it to my mom. I dont know if i can answer that question

The dog is sick, I told my sister over the phone and she said shed take care of it when she gets home. Hes lethargic and barely wants to go outside. Fresh food and water, b=his bed is warm, i just brushed him yesterday and checked him for tics but everything looks f=normal other than how weird hes being.

Its selfish of me really, to be hoping this is the last hurra before he goes to sleep and doesnt wake up but im tired of this dog and dealing with my brother yelling at me for not his homeopathic shit on the dog. If he gets better i'll continue to take care of him and make sure hes okay. If hes not then oh well no more dog.


r/confessions 54m ago

I ruin relationships

Upvotes

Three months ago me 17m was talking to a girl 17f. I was trying to like be perfect for her and I pretended to be someone I was not to win her, I tried to please her as much as I could and mirrored the type of guy she wanted. I started to get a lot anxiety and I felt depressed because I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out, I was worried about losing her. Everytime she didn't text me back for a couple hours I got worried. When she brought up something that she think I should do better to not bither her I would get get upset. Eventually I just couldn't handle the mental pain anymore and I told her that if she wasn't in my life than I wouldn't want live anymore. Ik it's manipulative but that's how I actually. She was scared when I fell asleep at night and she sent me a bunch of texts and called me wondering if I was Alive. She said I hurt her. I started to self harm and I sent pictures of my shoulder dripping blood to her and I sent it to everyone on Snapchat. I felt more and more alone and depressed and I started to take videos of me stabbing myself with a pencil until I had blood dripping from my thighs, I sent videos of it to everyone I knew at school. I tried to make the videos as shocking and scary as I could and I did it to manipulate people into feeling bad for me. The cops showed up at my house after. And then I remember after the cops left I felt really alone and abandoned after seeing everyone remove me on Snapchat and it made feel like I was gonna cry and I had thoughts about hanging myself. I eventually turned on the girl, I told her that I hate her and that she ruined my life. I don't remember what else I said but I insulted her and I turned on her, and then I blocked her and she blocked me. This was a couple months ago but just thought I should share it. I am really sensitive to criticism, rejection, being ignored, insulted. I also always seek validation all the time. I have ruined several relationships with friends and girls. My therapist does not think I am bipolar


r/confessions 17h ago

It’s absolutely wild to me that a lot of people who hate Jews are also Christians. Read your fucking Bible you dumb bitch

45 Upvotes

r/confessions 14h ago

I use my tongue as a water slide connector between soda cans and my mouth

22 Upvotes

r/confessions 1d ago

i saw her boob

163 Upvotes

I was in class and this girl was fixing her bra. She has really awesome tits and when she was fixing it it slipped out for a second 😳


r/confessions 1d ago

I love my small boobs

1.0k Upvotes

I wish we were appreciated more but oh well :( They’re cute and small and I love them. I also feel cute myself for having small ones. Ladies with small boobs you should love them too! 💗


r/confessions 12h ago

I play video games on easy mode to feel cool

12 Upvotes

I like to play games on hard mode sometimes but alot of the time I play the easiest mode so I can win at something without struggle or frustration and so I can feel like a confident badass for once in my life


r/confessions 8h ago

I miss my ex but we broke up 3+ years ago

6 Upvotes

Just over 3 years ago I broke up with my bf at the time. I was in a really bad place mentally as I was dealing with anxiety and had a lot of stuff going on at home to do with my parents. I broke up with him because I thought I was becoming reliant on him and I don’t think I was ready for the seriousness of the relationship but we kinda continued as we were for a few months like we were still together, then lockdown happened and I told him to go home to his family. I’ve tried to get over him, I’ve dated one person since and that solidified my feelings for my ex. We had always spoke over the years, so I messaged him one day with a note basically saying how I missed him and regretted breaking up. But he replied saying he has just started dating someone. I feel like I’ve really messed up and took way too long to realise my feelings and I know there’s nothing I can do now. I just needed to talk about it.


r/confessions 4m ago

I’m in love with my best friend.

Upvotes

I have been close friends with a friend from work (they/them) for honestly not a very long time, like 4 months. But it’s the kind of friendship where it just clicked immediately and I feel like I’ve known them my entire life. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I love them in more than just a platonic way. We get along so easily and naturally, we go on late night drives together and will just sit at the park together and can just sit in comfortable silence together. We feel at peace with each other. They have a boyfriend, a guy who also works with us, and I have no idea what to do. He doesn’t seem like the most present boyfriend, but they seem happy enough with him. The problem is I’m friends with him too. I think he’s a cool guy. But they and I just go together so naturally, a part of me can’t help thinking of how perfect we’d be for each other. I don’t know what to do anymore.