r/clevercomebacks
•
u/zzuhruf
•
Feb 07 '22
•
6
9
6
Found it on twitter. Hope I am not too late. lol
165
u/RainDancingChief Feb 08 '22
Seen a few "IF YOU GOT YOUR SPECIAL FLU SHOT, SWIPE LEFT" on dating apps from mostly people you wouldn't want to match with anyway.
They're also usually ROTUND.
90
u/Goshdangodon_ Feb 08 '22
Imagine turning down a sexual partner because they're actively trying to not give you an infectious disease.
27
8
16
u/GeneralZaroff1 Feb 08 '22
Vaccines are unnecessary I have an immune system. Hold up I need to take my diabetes medicine.
→ More replies10
u/Klcna2 Feb 08 '22
I’m guessing learning about the body in the form of nutrition and not being able to stop giving into every desire crosses over in life.
→ More replies3
Feb 08 '22
I'm fat, but I got the shots and booster. I'm not going to let a pandemic take me out. I'm my own punching bag.
133
u/sagethecrayaway Feb 08 '22
I went to school with these nasty fucks and I can confirm no girls ever wanted them lol
→ More replies6
Feb 08 '22
More like these are the guys that peaked in high-school and can't get laid anymore.
33
u/sagethecrayaway Feb 08 '22 •
There was no peaking trust me LOL
3
u/justHereForTheLs Feb 09 '22
That was a good laugh... Thank you.
3
u/sagethecrayaway Feb 09 '22
LOL thanks for the award!! I’m so tired of this convoy, our city is flooded with douche nozzles even more so than usual
510
u/PrometheusAborted Feb 08 '22
I’ve never understood why people wear shit like this. I mean, think about it. They spent time ordering/making this and money to pay for it.
If it’s supposed to be a joke or bit, it’s not even remotely funny.
If they are serious, it’s just fucking sad.
I’m a big sports fan and I wear my favorite teams’ apparel quite often. If I bump into someone who loves the same team, it’s a fun little interaction. If someone hates them, it’s also usually fun. After all, it’s just sports. Yeah it sucks if my guys lose but life goes on.
Dipshits like this are so pathetic that they LIVE for the little circle jerk moments they have with people that are like-minded. “Sweet shirt bro! Vaccines are a fucking sham, ya feel me?!” Imagine a stranger saying that to you and it somehow validating your idiotic views and purchases. I fucking hate people.
112
u/DGalamay30 Feb 08 '22
Thanos was right
→ More replies56
u/Master-File-9866 Feb 08 '22
Do you think Thanos would only snap the stupid half?
People accuse me of being political and I am not, I am just anti stupid. I am an equal oppertunity offender left right if you take it to far I will slap you down. Politics unfortunatley seems to be a magnet for stupid so since stupid is a magnet for me I guess I am political
46
u/GlamorousMoose Feb 08 '22
Regular peope: believes in science
Them: You're so political and devicive.
27
5
u/LarryLovesteinLovin Feb 08 '22
Doesn’t matter so long as I’m one of the ones to get snapped.
→ More replies7
u/DGalamay30 Feb 08 '22
Some personalities attract trouble.
The way Thanos had it set up was optimal. You don’t really know what would happen if you let all the “smart” people live.
2
u/razor_eddie Feb 08 '22
I'm picking that the number of lawyers would be WAY lower than they would have estimated before the Snap.
11
Feb 08 '22
[deleted]
14
u/Steinrik Feb 08 '22
Yeah, only people able to write perfect English should be allowed on Reddit! Thanks for fighting the good fight!
/s
→ More replies→ More replies10
u/razor_eddie Feb 08 '22
Just saying. I like a correctly spelled post myself, but inferring stupidity from a lack of ability to spell is incorrect.
→ More replies→ More replies2
u/stewymanx378 Feb 08 '22
I agree. I’m against anyone who chooses to be ignorant to prove their point
43
u/BroffaloSoldier Feb 08 '22
There’s this dipshit in my town that has emblazoned the entire back window of his large truck with a decal of a mask in a circle with a line through it.
What a cause to devote a large portion of your vehicle to soapboxing. So fucking weird.
31
u/Val_Hallen Feb 08 '22
Vehicles are a great way to show your opinions!!
Seriously though, I have long held the belief that the more stickers/larger the sticker you have on your vehicle, the more of an insufferable twat you are.
Like those fucking ambulances. We get it, already!
6
u/prosecutor_mom Feb 08 '22
You ever get called for jury duty, fuck yes that's a question every attorney will ask: any stickers on your car? What do they say?
Bam. You're on or off a jury right they're, cause they know what your inside voice sounds like
3
→ More replies5
14
u/OIP Feb 08 '22
i can at least understand anti-vaxx though it's ludicrous. i can't understand anti-mask. like what the fuck do people think they are 'rebelling' against? basic preventative health measures?
FUCK NO I WON'T WASH MY HANDS AFTER WIPING MY ASS I AIN'T SCARED
3
u/prosecutor_mom Feb 08 '22
Yes!! It's also not supposed to protect your inhaled breath, as much as it's intended to protect everyone in you're vicinity from eating in all your cooties. Masks are a sign of respect for others around you, but that seems to blow right past most.
→ More replies→ More replies2
u/sulaymanf Feb 08 '22
I think part of it is that they don’t want to be reminded there’s a pandemic, so they are upset at such a visible sign.
If only Covid caused terrible skin symptoms, then you wouldn’t see nearly as many antivaxxers and anti-maskers.
6
u/SomethingIWontRegret Feb 08 '22
Like a month into the pandemic I saw a thoroughly beat old truck parked outside of a Sprouts that reeked of ancient piss and schizophrenia. It was covered with hand-written slogans. "I'd hug you but you're wearing a mask."
Ew. No thank you in normal times.
11
u/niQueee Feb 08 '22
Ngl, if I could go back in time I'd make an etsy shop and have these kinds of shirts and hoodies ready to go. I don't believe in the statements, but these guys love buying this merch to showcase their beliefs.
9
u/n00bvin Feb 08 '22
Like making Trump gear. I hate that motherfucker, but his followers will buy ANYTHING with his name on it. Side hustle making it, then donate all the proceeds to a Democrat.
3
u/niQueee Feb 08 '22
Looking at all the trump 2024 gear that's where my thoughts come from haha. I'm jealous I missed out on that.
2
u/ariehn Feb 08 '22
If you have a beard or a truck, you can still be a pro-Trump youtuber and probably make some decent cash. More if you've got those sunglasses. You know the ones.
6
u/FPSXpert Feb 08 '22
They've made being antivax a goddamn identity. It's the hill that they will metaphorically and potentially from air problems quite literally die on that hill. As DJT would put it, (it's) Sad!
2
Feb 08 '22
Here in Idaho, our Legislature has floated the idea of making vaccination status a protected group in our state's bill of rights.
They've currently been blocking bills for a decade and a half now to add sexual orientation and gender identity to that list.
→ More replies7
u/redonkulousness Feb 08 '22
I think about this all the time as practically every truck in my area has a trump or Brandon sticker or something. Like, your life just revolves around someone whom you've never met or knows you're alive? It's so absurdly pathetic to idolize a politician or party to a point that you feel the need to put it in everyone's face. A bunch of pathetic losers, the whole lot of them.
19
u/MrAnderzon Feb 08 '22
Relax they’re just Redditors going outside for once
13
3
11
u/Poison_the_Phil Feb 08 '22
It’s like the people trying to “boycott” businesses that don’t want them anyway. Incidentally, it’s the exact same group of people.
8
u/Bactine Feb 08 '22
Or people "boycotting businesses" by destroying the stuff they already paid for
Good job lol
2
6
u/starbrightstar Feb 08 '22
Imagine thinking that you’re SUCH a catch that women who are vaccinated will be sad that they missed out on you. I mean, you could possibly get away with this if you’re a billionaire or look like a Hollywood Chris, but like really? An overweight average guy who probably doesn’t have a job?
Ludicrous.
4
3
u/TheLastMinister Feb 08 '22
my favorite was running into someone wearing a rival team's jersey... on the literal other side of the planet. We walked away friends because how often does that happen?
3
3
u/EsotericOcelot Feb 08 '22
I used to sit behind a guy in one college course who loved to wear a shirt that read “while you were reading this I farted” across the shoulders. How many minutes did I lose to contemplating why he would wear such a thing and how much he spent on it and what he was trying to express about himself? The world will never know.
And yet, this is worse. A sad day for humanity
2
2
→ More replies2
163
u/atticusinthe6 Feb 07 '22
I love that they spelled vaxxed wrong
80
u/blimpinthesky Feb 07 '22
Only sheep spell words correctly
23
10
14
→ More replies6
u/youreafuckwitttt Feb 08 '22
vaxed is slang, there is no authority dictating the correct spelling lmao. they could spell it vacced and it would still be fine.
3
2
u/insertcrassnessbelow Feb 08 '22
What’s with the double x anyway? I can’t think of any other words in the English language with a double x
→ More replies
252
u/Wristbandmyman Feb 07 '22
Missed a few … Uncut, unvaxxed, unwashed, unemployed, unattractive, unfuckable.
71
u/notagangsta Feb 08 '22
Not to mention…it’s super fucking weird to describe your genitals on a t-shirt. “Average sized labia minora and unvaxed.”
19
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
They're bringing up how they didn't fall for one exactly of medical fraud and malpractice (ie Circumcision) and comparing it to something they believe to also be medical fraud
21
u/OnionFartParty Feb 08 '22
They had no input in that decision in the first place
3
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
Uh what???
They're not minors ?
Obviously if they still have their foreskins it's because they choose not to remove them?
14
u/OnionFartParty Feb 08 '22
Adult circumcision is extremely rare
20
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
Because people don't like cutting up their dicks for no reason?
16
u/Niccin Feb 08 '22
That's probably it. For some weird reason it's acceptable in some circles to do it to babies.
→ More replies9
u/prosecutor_mom Feb 08 '22
That choice on circumcision wasn't their decision to begin with, so leads me back to questioning the judgment based on his clothing attire, flaccid expression and apparent lacking in facial cleanliness
→ More replies4
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
They could have gone and done it if they bought into the pseudoscientific nonsense that even doctors spew
But neither them nor their parents did
30
4
→ More replies3
94
u/rosanymphae Feb 07 '22
They just don't want women smarter than they are.
54
u/dml997 Feb 07 '22
Which would be almost all of them.
21
u/rosanymphae Feb 07 '22
There are female anti-vaxxers, so they may manage to reproduce yet. Scary.
3
49
u/UnsightlyCamel Feb 08 '22
What does being uncut have to do with being unvaccinated
33
u/StuckInTheZipper Feb 08 '22
Nothing— that’s why it says “and.”
But for real though, the unvaxxed have that whole “pureblood” thing going on. It could be an extension of that mindset. Like a completely natural configuration… untouched by the folly of man?
→ More replies3
u/Left-Plane-7514 Feb 08 '22
No tattoos on any of them, then?
2
10
4
u/STINKY-BUNGHOLE Feb 08 '22
Mostly nothing, if this is in Canada, only 32% of males are circumcised compared to the USA's 61%
5
u/bardak Feb 08 '22
Yeah for a Canadian it's like bragging that you dick is average size.
→ More replies12
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
Because infant Circumcision is medical fraud and malpractice and they probably have similar feelings about the vaccines
3
→ More replies2
73
u/GalmOneCipher Feb 08 '22
The dude on the right looks like he be running on Incel Core i9
10
u/Zenith251 Feb 08 '22
8 performance cores, 8 efficiency cores, but in his case none of them work correctly. A 12900k that's been put through the microwave.
4
→ More replies2
61
u/tea_bragger Feb 08 '22
Uncut? Got to say it's fucking weird that Americans have their genitals mutilated by default.
40
u/OlBigSwole Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
Even weirder how we try to justify it.
“At LeAsT iTs EaSiEr tO ClEan” how hard is it y’all? Having trouble washing behind your ears? We better fucking chop them off then huh?
And as someone who was spared from the chopping block; it’s just as easy to clean as any other place. I’m not the weird one
→ More replies22
10
u/DesertSpringtime Feb 08 '22 edited Feb 08 '22
It gets weirder when you find out paediatricians give bad advice to parents about how to care for an uncut baby (like telling them to retract foreskin for cleaning ) and then go "gotcha" when there's issues and infections..
EDIT for some people: My comment is about NEWBORNS and INFANTS. once the foreskin retracts by itself it is absolutely necessary to retract to clean. But early on the foreskin is fused and pulling it back causes tears and infections.
→ More replies→ More replies9
u/insertcrassnessbelow Feb 08 '22
Circumcism is basically an ultra religious tradition to stop you wanking so you don’t go to hell- I guess it follows that it would be popular in America
→ More replies
22
Feb 08 '22
I think the ladies will survive the horror of their rejection.
13
u/ImJustHere4theMoons Feb 08 '22
I wouldn't be so sure about that. Mediocre, bearded, antivaxx white dudes in their 30-40 are just so hard to come by these days.
4
3
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
Why would you want to date anyone who wouldn't date you unless you surgically modified your body?
20
Feb 08 '22
I was watching a livestream of some guy walking around Ottawa taking to these guys and a girl last night. The black hoodie guy had a chat with him. He’s totally banging this other protestor who lost her government job because she refused to get vaccinated, she’s living in her car by night and protesting by day.
8
25
u/Rogue_Spirit Feb 08 '22
Imagine bragging that your parents didn’t have your genitals mutilated to a bunch of people who didn’t get to make that choice either.
7
12
30
u/antoni_o_newman Feb 08 '22
Just a reminder that infant circumcision is mutilation.
15
7
u/Rogue_Spirit Feb 08 '22
I wish every thread on Reddit had this comment. Even those not about it.
9
u/HeartbreakGal Feb 08 '22
Then maybe one day bodily autonomy will finally be legal
2
u/Ok_Coconut4077 Feb 08 '22
Not for women, only men get autonomy
4
u/HeartbreakGal Feb 08 '22
Huh? How do only men get autonomy? Half of them have their autonomy legally violated as a baby...
Honestly not sure how you could possibly reach this solution when we are talking about systemic baby mgm
8
u/Ok_Coconut4077 Feb 08 '22
Women will never have bodily autonomy in states like Texas where they're forced to carry unwanted pregnancies to term. They should be given bodily autonomy but it'll never happen in those sort of backwards places. Babies will also still probably be mutilated in infancy because that's apparently popular in America
4
u/HeartbreakGal Feb 08 '22
I agree the violation of pregnant women's autonomy is awful in Texas but we are talking about how in every state, including Texas, baby boys have less genital autonomy and you can legally mutilate their genitals, thus you were wrong in saying only men get autonomy and kind of a bad derailment.
19
u/hellospaghet Feb 08 '22
For real tho I really wish I wasn’t circumcised
6
u/BalooDaBear Feb 08 '22
It hasn't affected me either way tbh, can't miss what I never remember having.
The only time I ever think about it is when people in reddit comments get all defensive one way or another. If I ever have a boy I won't make that choice for them, but I haven't had a negative experience from it personally, and the only comments I've ever encountered from women are either positive or indifferent.
No use worrying/lamenting over something you can't change. If nothing else ig it is easier to clean at least 🤷♂️
→ More replies4
u/hellospaghet Feb 08 '22
Not really about missing it and more about being aware of the negative impacts of not having one. I’ve personally experienced a lot of negative effects of not having one. I’ve also heard the opposite from women. Often a circumcision can be too tight and can cause discomfort for both parties.
4
u/BalooDaBear Feb 08 '22
That's unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds similar to Phimosis, where uncircumcised foreskin can be too tight to roll back all the way too.
I understand how it's frustrating when it happens as the result of a choice you didn't get to make though.
→ More replies
3
u/HuoLongHeavy Feb 08 '22
Wearing a shirt that proudly declares whether you are circumcised or not is some Chad shit. Its then horrifically ruined by brain-dead anti-science lies.
5
u/Tx247 Feb 08 '22
Am I the only one who finds the white stuff under the one guy's nose suspicious?
→ More replies
10
u/AbaloneSea7265 Feb 07 '22
At least it’s easier to identify the lowest members of the gene pool nowadays
8
u/free_based_potato Feb 07 '22
Just add it to the mountains of scientific evidence showing vaccines prevent disease.
→ More replies
5
5
u/UncleSamsghost Feb 08 '22
being proud of circumcision, or lack thereof, is super weird either way.
6
2
2
u/PolyZex Feb 08 '22
There was a time when people used to take pride in things they actually did, not in things they DIDN'T do.
2
u/poiqwert426 Feb 08 '22
I'm picturing some creep pestering a chick and him not leaving until she mentions that shes vaccinated lmfao
2
2
2
2
2
Feb 08 '22
That is right ladies, these and so many more, anti-science, alfa-males are yours to be obedient to.
Give yourself over to one of these dream boats for a dream date of Nascar, Raising Canes Chicken and a night bringing him brewskis.
You could grab up one of these fine specimens early, when they can't find the opening end to a garbage bag and ride that until their skills take them to be assistant janitor or even if luck runs on your side, to 2nd sanitary engineer.
Hurry before another one of these prizes takes the Herman Cain Award and has no wife to leave his collection of vintage used toothbrushes to. Some are from other charmers such as himself.
2
u/ReneeLaRen95 Feb 08 '22
Are we supposed to be impressed by how how alpha they are? 🥱 Nothing screams “Look at me” more than this type of shirt. Pathetic.
2
u/ThrowawayBlast Feb 10 '22
Alpha being a thing right wingers made up, that wolves don't actually do.
2
u/ReneeLaRen95 Feb 10 '22
Yeah, I realize that. It makes their posturing, even more comical, because it’s all a load of BS!
2
u/Useful-Ad-8619 Feb 08 '22
Sorry vaxxed ladies, the dudes with circle faces and snotcicles in their mustache aren’t interested
2
2
Feb 08 '22
I'll never understand the word ''uncut'' because it makes no sense, it's like saying ''unamputated arm'' it's just nonsensical.
→ More replies
2
2
u/EarlyGoose9284 Feb 08 '22
Have they used the pocket of their hoodies as jizz rags? Consistent with the message I guess
2
2
u/red_fox_zen Feb 08 '22
JFC. This is so cringe that my uterus just grew back so it could crawl out of my body, plunge itself into the depths of the earth, climb under a rock and die.
2
2
u/Excellent_Original66 Feb 08 '22
I randomly came across a protest against circumcision. It was weird. Just a bunch of dudes with huge red spots on the front of their pants and signs🤣🤣 I wish I still had the pictures
2
u/JamesRyanQnsNYC Feb 08 '22
From the looks of them I think they lust after the kid selling girl scout cookies.
2
2
4
17
Feb 07 '22
I can smell the cheese from this image alone.
25
u/Spiderman__jizz Feb 07 '22
Hey I’m all for not cutting up birds. But I keep my bird clean. Smeg is not cool okay.
42
u/Jazano107 Feb 07 '22
Glorifying genital mutilation?
But yes these guys are plebs
50
u/PixelPete85 Feb 08 '22
Dick cheese is a problem of hygiene, not a problem of foreskin. I suspect in their case it's a lost cause regardless
→ More replies→ More replies7
u/Bearence Feb 08 '22
Smegma is more common for intact penises, but circumcised penises can also produce it.
16
u/FuckingKilljoy Feb 08 '22
More common, but incredible easy to avoid lol. It's like saying that having a dirty asshole is a result of having an asshole and not a result of being gross and not cleaning yourself
11
9
u/Jussyjam Feb 08 '22
Cutting off your foreskin to better clean your penis is like cutting off your lips to better clean your teeth
→ More replies8
u/18Apollo18 Feb 08 '22
Are you 5?
Instead of defending your beliefs you revert to body shaming?
Very mature /s
→ More replies
9
4
2
2
692
u/Douglasqqq Feb 08 '22 •
How come when I wear clothes that describe my penis, I get sent home from work?