r/Damnthatsinteresting 12d ago Wholesome 3 Coin Gift 1 hehehehe 1 I'll Drink to That 2 Defeated 1 Evil Cackle 1 Silver 2 Helpful 3

Dentist confirms they can tell when someone has recently given a blowjob Video

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79.8k Upvotes

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u/All_The_Nolloway 12d ago Starstruck

Dentist perusing your mouth sees bruising "Sooo, how was your weekend?"

6.9k

u/34TH_ST_BROADWAY 12d ago Silver Wholesome Starstruck

"Okay, open wide... bet that's not the first time you heard that today..."

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u/marcoli94 12d ago Wholesome Starstruck

My man

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u/anon-mally 12d ago Starstruck

Thats what she said

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u/viperex 11d ago

Meh, I didn't have to open that wide

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u/ddh85 12d ago

"Did you have a swell time?"

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u/footsteps71 12d ago

The good part came too fast, and everything rapidly deflated from there.

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u/ZoranT84 12d ago

A lot went down

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u/dont_wear_a_C 11d ago

Turkey wasn't the only thing that got stuffed

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u/rikashiku 12d ago

"Gargle and spit please"

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u/unique-name-9035768 12d ago Silver

looks again

"Oh, I guess you're more a gargle and swallow type."

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u/ProfessionalAsshole6 12d ago

aggressively upvotes

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u/Leon_Krueger 11d ago

"Gargle and spit this time, please"

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u/MelonLord13 12d ago

Honestly it was hard

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u/phpdevster 12d ago

"I wished it was longer"

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u/OrganizerMowgli 12d ago

Dentist looks back inside & sees scarring from repeated abuse

"huh."

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u/charlie_zoosh 11d ago

Reminds me of how my HR manager got caught sneaking out of the disabled toilet with red, watery eyes a few times and her voice would sound throaty for the rest of the day. We all immediately assumed that she was secretly bulimic. Turns out, she was regularly deep-throating the sales manager in there. His nickname was 'Rocco'.

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u/RogerSterlingsFling 11d ago

Classic Rocco move to be honest

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u/New_Awareness4075 11d ago

Ice cream? We have chocolate, strawberry, and Rocky Rococo

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u/captainsuckass 11d ago

How did you even find that out? lol

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u/charlie_zoosh 11d ago edited 11d ago

Some well-meaning souls started to subtly encourage her to seek help for what they believed was 'bulimia'. When that didn't work, they decided to catch her in the act of purging and hold an intervention outside the disabled toilet. Imagine their surprise when they saw Rocco turn up, knock on the door and be let in, followed by some dirty talk and much gargling...

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u/polorat12 12d ago

What they don't tell you is it's not usually a vanilla blowjob, it's usually someone that does it..... enthusiastically? Vicariously? With determination? You get it.

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u/Tyler_Nerdin 12d ago Wholesome

The kind of blowjob that sounds like guh-guh-guh-gak-gak!

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u/oeCake 12d ago Silver

The kind of blow job that you need a hollowed out grapefruit for

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u/twod119 12d ago

Those sounds haunt my dreams

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u/mysticfed0ra 12d ago

When you Grapefruit your man it's gonna feel like you're giving him head... and fucking him at the same time.

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u/Stevans8 12d ago

I hate that I immediately heard all the sounds inside my head upon reading this

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u/Snailspaced 12d ago

Hold on … grapefruit interferes with my heart meds

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u/UlfRinzler 12d ago

Urk! Grkh! Urghlgrghl!

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u/DLMoore9843 12d ago

The Gyuk-Guk9000

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u/conejoloco2020 12d ago

I don't think that means what you think it means.

vi·car·i·ous·ly /vəˈkerēəslē,vīˈkerēəslē/ adverb in a way that is experienced in the imagination through the actions of another person. "she was living vicariously through her children"

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u/SoVerySick314159 12d ago

"Vicarious Blowjob" - Band Name.

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u/GreedoInASpeedo 12d ago

Featuring Maynard James Keenan

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u/turtleneckless001 12d ago

Vicariously I, suck the whole world dry

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u/FremenStilgar 12d ago

Vicariously?

I'm assuming autocorrect vigorously happened?

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u/shp0ngle 12d ago

Perhaps the word you’re looking for is “vivaciously”

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

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u/Brief-One-2635 12d ago edited 12d ago Gold LOVE!

Joke’s on you, my dick is too small to cause bruising

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u/Kmccabe1213 12d ago Silver Helpful

Who reaches the back?!

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u/meme-by-design 12d ago

I cant even reach the front.

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u/varun_aby 12d ago

That's because you're a redditor

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

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u/mpgd 12d ago

Some are built different

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u/KirbsNspices 12d ago

Wait, you guys are getting BJs? I thought they were a myth 🤔

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u/banana_buddy 12d ago

I thought girls were a myth too, never seen one on Reddit

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u/yourpantsaretoobig 12d ago

Honest question, but can’t most dicks reach the back of mouths? Mouths aren’t that deep

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u/the_ginger_fox 12d ago edited 11d ago Helpful

As someone who has sucked a variety of dicks. They all reached the back of my throat. Maybe if the dick is below average then it won't, haven't come across a smaller dick to test this on.

Edit: the creepy DMs due to this comment don't surprise me but this dude hangs out in the teenagers subreddit. Bro I'm not a pedo what were you expecting.

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u/WhoDatPokeMan 12d ago

Thank you for your service 🫡

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u/adumbbunnie 11d ago

Ayy! I can help confirm! My ex's would rest right on my tongue but never hit the back! It was cute chubby sausage sized!

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u/Glass_Memories 12d ago

The soft palate isn't the back, it's the top. Take your tongue and touch the roof of your mouth near the front. That's your hard palate. Move your tongue backwards and you'll feel it becomes soft, with a clear divide between the two. That's your soft palate. Diagram

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u/sensitivegooch 12d ago

You mean my weewee is supposed to stick out? Always thought a inverted nipple look was the normal look. Interesting.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Stocktwatz 12d ago

More than likely just before the video started.

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u/_Reddit-Troll 12d ago

The doc looked guilty too.

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u/TERMINATORCPU 12d ago

"looked guilty", he looked pretty happy.

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u/Patrick4356 12d ago edited 11d ago

Based on my mouth(male) and my phone size(5.8inches)(s9 without case)should be rather easy to hit the back of someones mouth/entrance of the throat

;) damn i miss her fr🥴

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u/goodmobileyes 12d ago

I really hope someone walked in on you deepthroating your phone

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u/kamikazekaktus 12d ago

What are you doing?

-uh, research?

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u/no-mames 12d ago

You can reach it with a finger so it can’t be more than 3 or 4 inches

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u/ShakyFlood 12d ago

It may not be 12 inches but it sure smells like a foot

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u/RowanIsBae 12d ago

Ok why haven't I heard this before, cuz it's funny as fuck lol

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u/cabjar 12d ago

My girls are lucky that I always get flaccid boners 🥳🥳🥳

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u/NdnGirl88 12d ago

Is it just for same day? I need clarification!!!

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u/PompousKumquat 12d ago

Yes this is important info to remember when scheduling appointments!

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u/GrubH0 12d ago

You schedule your blow jobs 6 months out?

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u/Unicorntella 12d ago

You don’t??

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u/moderatorsareuseless 12d ago

Doesn't matter if the blowjob is scheduled in advance. Headaches seem to always be on call

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u/Blurredfury22the2nd 12d ago

Pretty sure my wife does

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u/CrooklynDodgers 12d ago Take My Energy

What difference does it make? Keep on slurpin

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u/SecretTennis8840 12d ago

My mom is my dentist.

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u/Endorkend 12d ago

He did say the days after valentines day, so I'm guessing it lasts.

Which makes sense considering other bruises don't just go away in a day either.

And your mouth gets far more action than any other surface on your body.

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u/thatguyoudontlike 12d ago

A light bruise will stay for a while, probably a few days

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/confictura_22 12d ago

I wonder if it comes from the suction? So more like a hickey than a bruise from force.

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u/RowanIsBae 12d ago

Just underestimating how delicate the soft palette is. Bruises very easy

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u/Any_Affect_7134 12d ago

Well as long as you don't bruise anything you're fine. 🤷‍♂️

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u/Tridian 12d ago

WEAR IT WITH PRIDE!

Just means you're getting some. 😉

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u/email_or_no_email 12d ago

No bro it means you're giving some.

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u/icddrm 12d ago Silver Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

I'm glad my wife isn't a dentist!

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u/AAAFate 12d ago

Wait...a...minute....

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u/bumjiggy 12d ago

too late, I'm done.

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u/delvach 12d ago

See this is why we need so much mouthwash around here, ya filthy bastard.

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u/K0Oo 12d ago

Genius

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u/UnsolicitedDogPics 12d ago

“Suck a wiener” sounds so much weirder than “gave a blowjob”.

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u/ShowThemToMe 12d ago

That sounds like something butters from southpark would say

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u/Hellboundroar 12d ago

And then would be promptly grounded

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u/UnsolicitedDogPics 12d ago

Oh hamburgers!

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u/small-iq 12d ago

Language! You just bought yourself another two weeks, mister.

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u/ok-go-fuck-yourself 12d ago

Butters! You’rrrrrrreeee grrrrounded!

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/makanimike 12d ago

I feel like she remembered halfway into the phrase that her mom is subbed to her tiktok.

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u/RaySwift17 12d ago

Gobble a schlong

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u/Holein5 12d ago

Slob a knob

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u/Sedaisedaiayay 12d ago

like corn on the cob

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u/public_enemy_obi_wan 12d ago

Check in with me, and do your job

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u/CosmicCreeperz 12d ago

Aka “the Oral B”.

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u/FeistyBandicoot 12d ago

More like the Oral D

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u/Bluebyday 12d ago edited 12d ago I'm Deceased

Wait. What if you just tried to eat an entire hotdog without biting or chewing?

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u/disillusionedchaos 12d ago

That would be a different motion. Im guessing its the repetitive nature. Unless you blowbang hotdogs of course.

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u/HonorableHam 12d ago

Not since highschool. And only wrapped in cornbread them

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u/Iamjimmym 12d ago Helpful

"Jesus Tom. People out here are deep fryin their dicks in cornbread just so their girlfriend's dentist doesn't rat them out to their mothers. The school's deep fryer is starting to look like a muckduck scene for christs sake! And the lunch lady is really getting sick and tired of all the boys asking her to 'dip their wiener' for them. Jesus fucking Christ, Tom. We need to put a stop to this."

"Dont look at me to put an end to all this. They dont call me 'the crusty corndog' for nothin'."

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u/ZirJohn 12d ago

if your pp is as soft as a hotdog when hard it will def not bruise anything

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u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 9d ago Silver

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u/BuffyTheEggPileLayer 12d ago

Can confirm. I found out in the worst way. My mom worked at a periodontist's office and would always get me in for a cleaning when I'd visit home (from college). One time, the young, new, studly doctor (who everyone in the office including my mom would swoon over) was super concerned about bruising/discoloration in my mouth--concerned enough to tell my mom.

Eventually it was figured out. Excruciatingly awkward. He must've skipped class the day this lesson was taught in dentist school.

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u/creepymccreepersdale 12d ago edited 12d ago

Ahhh, that doesnt sound like... a mistake. I get that you're a student but still an adult. Why not tell just you and leave it at that? Sounds like it was entertainment for him.

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u/BuffyTheEggPileLayer 12d ago

To clarify, he saw discoloration and I think initially wanted to do a follow-up because he was concerned. He did not realize the cause, at least not at first, nor did I. My mom and I figured it out during an, er, deductive conversation at home later and I never heard about it since (so I'm assuming the Dr either put it together, though I don't know). I honestly think my mom, though she was just a receptionist, had the epiphany--not the doc.

This was about a decade ago, so I remember the awkwardness more than specific dialogue.

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u/wargod_war 12d ago

The awkward thing for me would be that whilst he had experience and expertise in a field that deals with those type of injuries, your mum had more...and not 'cos of medical training...

I'd flip the awkwardness around on my mother. Although my mum is so awesome she'd just take it on the chin... ayoooooo

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u/creepymccreepersdale 12d ago

Pfftt, lol yeah i see what you mean.

"Oh yeah, you would know huh, Mom?"

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u/andrewstriesand 12d ago

You’re reading it as “he knew what the cause of the bruising was but brought it up out of concern”, OP is saying he didn’t know what the bruising actually was

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u/MrZombieTheIV 12d ago

Title says "blowjob" not "facefuck"

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 12d ago

I can't be the only guy who is imagining how much force it would take to cause bruising. Aren't BJs the best when they're really soft and light and not when the girl is trying to suck it down like a jello shot?

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u/theodoreroberts 12d ago

You don't need much force to cause bruising in the mouth. You inner mouth gets bruises and tiny injuries all the time from a lot of normal activities. The thing is bj marks look different than othe types of injury marks.

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u/smzt 12d ago Gold

What does eating Captain Crunch look like? It feels like I’ve used a cheese grater on the roof of my mouth.

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u/islingcars 12d ago

Truth. I hate it but love cap crunch. Ugh

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u/FrogInShorts 12d ago

I went to the dentist for a cleaning the day after captain crunch and the dentist saw the roof of my mouth not knowing what caused the damage and told me i shouldn't eat solid foods for a week and revisit.

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u/BitemeRedditers 11d ago

Seems this Captain Crunch fellow really gets around.

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u/vyrelis 12d ago

Also suction causes bruising, like a hickey

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u/AgentPastrana 12d ago

It's very soft tissue. Your skin is to protect said soft tissue, hence why so many people think it would hurt, because of the amount of force it can take to bruise skin

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u/DOCTORE2 12d ago

Joke's on you I was actually deepthroating a burrito

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u/ciknay 12d ago All-Seeing Upvote

On a darker note, dentists are often trained to look out for the same bruising in children. I've heard of stories of abuse being uncovered this way because the abuser didn't think about it.

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u/Dramatic-Garbage-907 12d ago

This breaks my heart

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u/ddh85 12d ago

Okay that's just too terrible and enough Reddit for today.

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u/THATS_ENOUGH_REDDlT 12d ago

Same. I’m out.

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u/AbsolutelyUnlikely 12d ago

But the real world is where these stories come from. It's actually safer here. l

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u/Small-Ad-777 12d ago

Yeah like we were having fun here laughing and this guy just busts this extremely depressing shit. Thanks for that.

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u/al-tair_ezio 12d ago

Yeah had to look at it in a lecture. Everyone was disturbed. That case was the uncle, i can never forget it. Luckily I’ve never come across it myself

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u/archiekane 12d ago

And this is why it's not stranger-danger, it's more likely to be family or friend.

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u/cajunbander 12d ago Helpful

Seriously, I went to college for criminal justice, about 93% of children who are sexually abused know their abuser. The abusers take advantage of the trust of the child and their authority over them.

While we’re at it, yes, about half a million children go missing every year. However nearly 98% of them are found. Most of the time a child abduction is perpetrated by one of the kid’s parents. There’s not this massive conspiracy to kidnap and traffic kids into pedophile rings. Should you protect your kid, absolutely, and as a parent of three children, I do everything I can to keep them safe. That includes knowing the statistics and who to keep them safe from.

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u/MarcNmarc318 12d ago

Pediatric dentist here, it’s often hard to tell because it could be a popsicle etc. But certainly an indicator to look for other signs consistent with abuse eg wounds in different stages of healing, parents jumping to answer questions directed to the child

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u/GorillaHeat 12d ago Eureka!

Maybe we shouldn't shed light on this. Leave secret weapons secret

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u/hoopaholik91 12d ago

Well, if a pedophile sees this and decides it's too risky to engage in the behavior...that's kind of a win right?

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u/daraghlol 12d ago

Sadly I think it would mean a different method of abuse

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u/klopklop25 12d ago

Or just no dentist appointments anymore depending on who the abuser is.

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u/imnotsoho 12d ago

I think it is more likely they would stop sending the kid to the dentist.

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u/dcconverter 12d ago Take My Energy

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u/gravitasgamer 12d ago edited 12d ago

According to a 2017 paper revisiting the work, the paper was notable not only for that first, but also for the enthusiasm in which the corresponding doctor described the case, which involved ...

a sex worker with what he determined to be a particularly strong work ethic

As described in that 2017 paper and translated from French, the doctor described this patient as a...

.... “conscientious partner” who "had attached herself to work like an octopus to its prey."

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u/DirectlyTalkingToYou 12d ago

Her business card says

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for a fun time, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a dream for people like you. If you let my money go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will blow you."

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u/Dubious_Titan 12d ago

This ruined my day.

Mind you, i just read a story of a woman selling her children into slavery and abuse in 1940s Chicago. I am not often phased by stuff but goddamn if true this sure did it.

I don't even want to look up the validity of the claim. My heart hurts reading that, seriously.

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u/Ghostkill221 12d ago

No. Dentists can't tell this. If you are an abuser you are totally safe taking a kid to the dentist.

(dude... Stop telling people these things)

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u/thecloudkingdom 12d ago

im pretty sure the venn diagram of people who sexually abuse children and the venn diagram of people who take their kids to dental checkups isnt slim enough that someone sharing a factoid is going to change much. do you think someone whos doing that to a kid would see this and go "oh shoot i guess i'll just never take my kid to the dentist again, or else i'll have to schedule the pedo sessions and the dentist appointments more carefully!". chances are they wont remember it if they do see it

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u/Sicparvismagneto 12d ago Silver

Yeah or maybe cause your breath still smells like ball sack… LINDA, YOU WHORE!

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u/hugglesthemerciless 12d ago

who goes to the dentist without brushing their teeth 15 times first? Gotta hide the fact I last flossed 8 years ago

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u/L-methionine 11d ago

I’m just honest with them and say “every day for the last two weeks” when they ask. They get a chuckle out of it sometimes

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u/RaySwift17 12d ago

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u/micahamey 12d ago

No don't, that's how we got into this situation in the first place.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 11d ago

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u/GentleBoneCrusher 11d ago

I never thought giving dome would be a uniting force for humanity, but here we are. It's quite beautiful, really.

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u/weebtrashparade 12d ago

Is that Gina darling? Lol

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u/Glass_persona 12d ago

That's Gina gargling

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u/and_some_scotch 12d ago

I was so certain that the punchline was going to be "I can tell because you just sucked my wiener."

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u/Sensitive_Ladder2235 12d ago

That guy pulls more than most pro athletes.

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u/px1618 12d ago Silver

With just a glans, a dentist can see who has given head. There's a vas deferens between a dentist and a common man for a reason

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u/dan994 12d ago

My girlfriends' mum is her dentist... This is a new problem I now have in my life.

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u/i_should_be_coding 11d ago

/u/dan994: Hey <gf's mom>. I just learned that Dentists can tell if someone has given head recently. Is that true?

<gf's mom>: Yeah, I wish we couldn't...

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u/donttouchdennis 12d ago

Dentists use this technique to identify when a child has been molested and have saved many children’s lives.

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u/thematrixnz 12d ago

Doesnt sound pleasant....getting mouth bruised by a dong

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/mybalzitch_ 12d ago

It's not soft in there that's for sure.

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u/YellowManofCustard 12d ago

this happened to my cousin but on the roof of her mouth shortly after she started dating her bf

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u/WrongSplit3288 12d ago

The guy has impeccable hair

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u/EveningBasket9528 12d ago

My Dad was a dentist, and mom a hygienist & both have confirmed. Lol.

On a tangent, check out how dentistry was done for some Vietnamese during the war. (1972)

We found this when my father died and had it digitized. I wish we had found it before he passed.

No gloves, sitting on the hood of an army jeep.

https://imgur.com/gallery/GiD0xGo

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u/bifdthrowaway 12d ago

Oh Gina lol

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u/HDDIV 12d ago

Of course she's the one asking. On brand.

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u/YourDrunkUncl_ Expert 12d ago

im not a dentist but I can tell from this woman’s face that she has munched on a wiener fairly recently

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u/BaldDudeFromBrazzers 12d ago

And by the smile of the dude, we might make another informed assumption…

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u/CatMakeoutSesh 12d ago

…that he too has munched on a wiener.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/cacabean 12d ago

infellation

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u/Cast290 12d ago

That’s insane and funny

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u/EitherClass3061 12d ago

Well ladies. If you want to suck on the ol meat whistle without your soft palate getting bruised I am your guy.

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u/SuedeVeil 12d ago

Really though who cares lol... oral sex is just part of sex. Oh noes my dentist knows I have sex!

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u/314159265358979326 12d ago

It does depend to a degree on where you live and what gender you are.

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u/Hank_N_Lenni 12d ago

Who are these guys that are getting blowjobs on valentine’s day?

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u/techHyakimaru 12d ago

Oral B 's real meaning.

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u/broncosfan2159 12d ago

No more blow jobs babe I've got a dentist appt in 9 months

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u/Jocosta 11d ago

Oh god! My dad was my dentist for the first 22 years of my life…. I may die now.

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u/stannc00 12d ago

Because your breath smells like Axe Body Spray and penis.

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u/ham5th 12d ago

Y’know, the thing about a blowjob, they got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When they comes after ya, they don’t seem to be livin’ until they bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then – aww!!!!

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u/ColorblindBren 12d ago

What are you doing!? Are you doing the speech from Jaws? Are you doing Jaws? We don’t have time for this shit, this is serious.

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u/PurpleBullets 12d ago

Eleven hundred men enter the blowjob. 316 men come out.

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u/GMane2G 12d ago

Show me the way to gooo hooome

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u/Qoppa_Guy 12d ago

He's so proud of revealing this revelation of knowledge

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u/Any-Implement-9558 12d ago

Omg 😲 I have to go the dentist Friday!😆😅🤣😂

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u/Carl__Gordon_Jenkins 12d ago

Stop giving head immediately. For science.

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u/ReggieBushr00t 12d ago

Or pick up the pace

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u/All_The_Nolloway 12d ago

...what does salsa have to do with this?

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